The Onion

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Brangelina Expecting

Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt’s baby. What do you think?

Asian Man

Albert Wesker,
Supervisor
“Apparently, the weak dollar has made it more cost-effective to produce certain things here than import them.”

Young Woman

Claire Redfield,
Assisted Living Professional
“I believe that this miracle child will die for our sins, most likely during a taping of The Surreal Life 2034.

Young Man

Leon Kennedy,
Engineer
“Looks like Chris in accounting is 10 bucks poorer today. Pay up, sucker!”

All American Voices

Personal of the Day