The Onion

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Alito Confirmation Likely

Despite a contentious hearing, Samuel Alito appears to be on track to be nominated to replace Sandra Day O'Connor. What do you think?

Old Man

Chris Grace,
Office Manager
"I don't care who gets confirmed at this point. Just get Ted Kennedy off my fucking television."

Old Woman

Elna Baker,
Hostess
"How can the Senate spend so much time on this nonsense? Don't they have awful laws to rubber-stamp?"

Black Man

Mauricio Bermidez,
Statistician
"I'm not sure he'll be confirmed. The Senate asked him where he sees himself in five years, and his response showed very little initiative."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day