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At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

American Voices

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Most Fertile Irish Male Found

Irish scientists believe they have discovered the most fertile Irish male, a fifth-century warlord named Niall of the Nine Hostages with over 3 million offspring worldwide. What do you think?

Black Man

Dave Riley,
Medical Technician
"These 'scientists' can get back to me after they get fucked up and down in a dirty bathroom stall by Colin Farrell. Try, say, 9 o’clock tonight."

Old Woman

Patty Boyle,
Roofer
"Yeah, I knew him. Fletcher Murphy. Skinny oik. Punched me in the neck and impregnated my sister, but who hasn't?"

Old Man

D.M. Rolland,
Glass Blower
"My wife and I share a fifth-century ancestor? Eeewww!"

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