The Onion

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Cheney Shoots 78-Year-Old Man

This weekend, Vice President Cheney accidentally shot a 78-year-old companion on a hunting trip in Texas. What do you think?

Young Man

Matthew Fay,
Paralegal
"I think it might be time to take a closer look at Dick Cheney's series of geriatric 'hunting accidents.'"

Asian Man

Thomas Pasculli,
Concert Promoter
"Being a compassionate conservative, Cheney immediately apologized and offered to snap the poor man's neck."

Young Woman

Laura Pearlstein,
Marketing Intern
"It's nice to see that Cheney brings the same clear-headed approach to arms deployment in his personal life that he does in formulating foreign policy."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day