The Onion

Tuesday, March 7, 2006

Japanese Cars On Top

Every automobile in Consumer Reports’ list of the top 10 cars in the U.S. is Japanese-made. What do you think?

Black Man

Grant Hayes,
Office-Supply Salesman
"As a GM employee, I'm stunned. I thought all the hard work and long hours I put in badmouthing the Japanese would have some effect."

Old Woman

Mavis Brown,
Student
"Hey, Hiroshima, Consumer Reports—you win some, you lose some."

Old Man

Eric Hessler,
Creative Director
"I got my 1980s county-fair Jap-car-smashing sledgehammer out of storage. Just point me to the right parking lot."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day