The Onion

Friday, March 10, 2006

Bald Eagles Thriving

A recent survey indicated that bald eagles would soon be taken off the endangered-species list. What do you think?

Young Man

James Threadman,
Production Technician
"Damn it! Every time I memorize the endangered-species list, some bureaucrat changes it."

Asian Man

Paul Abramowicz,
Quality-Control Supervisor
"There goes any hope I had of my basement full of bald eagles appreciating in value."

Young Woman

Karenne Eng,
Elevator Operator
"And with that, trout go back onto the endangered-species list."

Personal of the Day