mobile edition

At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

American Voices

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Coffee Counteracts Alcohol

A study published by the Archives of Internal Medicine demonstrates that drinking coffee can offset the detrimental effects of alcohol on the liver. What do you think?

Old Woman

Alexandra Ledoux,
Systems Analyst
"Who needs coffee when you have a family full of sober organ-donors?"

Black Man

Jason Zellar,
Laser Printer Technician
"Why all the hubbub? Isn't the liver just a useless old organ at the end of the intestines? Oh, that's the appendix. Can coffee offset the effects of alcohol on the appendix?"

Old Man

Christopher Martin,
Youth Pastor
"Typical scientists, always giving us useless, abstract information. Where's the chart showing the proper cappuccino-to-Jaeger ratio?"

Recent American Voices »
More American Voices »

Meet Other Onion Readers

more personals »