The Onion

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Nuclear Waste Accumulating

Thousands of tons of spent nuclear fuel is building up at three power plants because the government¹s failure to open a promised storage facility in Nevada. What do you think?

Old Woman

Yvonne Breen,
Building Contractor
"Surely there are faster, less costly ways to turn Nevada into a barren wasteland of radioactive decay."

Black Man

Peter Wexler,
Door-to-Door Salesman
"It's like my mom always said: 'A place for everything and everything in its place.' Of course, I never had more than one or two rods of nuclear waste lying around in my room."

Young Man

Ron Breslin,
Systems Analyst
"Whoever put Troma in charge of federal hazardous-waste management is an idiot."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day