Science Disproves Vampires
Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou has devised a simple mathematical proof stating that vampires cannot exist. What do you think?
Michael Poole,
Bog Limnologist
“So I've been sleeping all day in a coffin, hanging upside down in a cave lair, and drinking human blood for nothing?”
Bobbi Delaney,
Fabricator
“I wish I had tenure. If I spent all my time in the warehouse thinking up crap like that, I'd get canned in a heartbeat.”
Gavin Jacobson,
Machinist
“This news will likely hit The Count the hardest. Destroyed by the very numbers he loves.”
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