The Onion

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Cell-Phone Infertility

A study presented at the American Society For Reproductive Medicine conference indicated that men who used cell phones frequently have a lower sperm count. What do you think?

Old Woman

Thalia Romanov,
Systems Analyst
"But what if all your time on the phone is spent ordering bull hormones?"

Black Man

Fred Tallman,
Banker
"So my phone sends e-mail and prevents unwanted pregnancy? I'd like to see a pager do that."

Young Man

Chris Wilhelm,
Kevlar Tailor
"Thankfully, nobody ever calls me. Haven't even spoken to another person for months. So having kids should be no problem."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day