The Onion

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

O.J. Confession Book Cancelled

After stirring up a cloud of controversy, Fox and ReganBooks parent company News Corp cancelled both publication of the O.J. Simpson book If I Did It and a televised interview with Simpson. What do you think?

Old Man

Frank Rabin,
Wedding Officiant
"There go my stocking stuffers. What am I going to give to all my aunts and uncles, especially the ones who blatantly murdered their ex-wives?"

Young Woman

Karen Stein,
Receptionist
"What does this mean for the future of Judith Regan's hypothetical memoir If I Tried To Crassly Exploit Tragedy, Here's How It Happened?"

Asian Man

Oscar Mendoza,
Hat Blocker
"Now that all this is cancelled, we might never see the conclusive proof we need that O.J. Simpson is the world's greatest crime-detail guesser."

All American Voices

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