The Onion

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Period Suppression Pill OK'd

The FDA approved Lybrel, a birth control pill that stops the monthly menstrual cycle altogether. What do you think?

Asian Man

Chris Jawoerk,
Marketing Director
"This is unfair—when will they come up with a pill that keeps my genitals from bleeding."

Old Man

Alex Lau,
Sous Chef
"This could potentially ruin daytime television's entire sponsorship model."

Old Woman

Baly Sniderman,
Admissions Clerk
"I've already figured out a way to stop the menstrual cycle altogether: 14 consecutive pregnancies."

Personal of the Day