The Onion

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Japanese Quake Led To Nuclear Leak

A 6.8-magnitude earthquake caused a Japanese nuclear reactor to crack, spilling more than 300 gallons of radioactive water into the ocean. What do you think?

Young Woman

Paula Daniels,
Registrar
"Of all the Godzilla marketing campaigns, this is the second-worst."

Black Man

Jonah Klute,
Fudge Maker
"You'd think there would come a time where radioactive deformity wasn't introduced into every Japanese generation."

Young Man

Mark Cable,
Systems Analyst
"What a shame. In every other respect, that earthquake zone was the perfect place to build a nuclear reactor."

Personal of the Day