via @TheOnion - Mysterious Traveler Entrances Town With Utopian Vision Of The Future
MYSTERIOUS TRAVELER (SMALL LOCATION)
NEWS SHOW
Script/Idea: West/West
This Draft: 10/23/07 (DM)
Note to KERI: the town in this needs to feel like a heavily
trafficked campaign town with a bunch of campaign posters and
shit everywhere.
Note to LOCATIONS: The specific locations like restaurant and
marketplace are just suggestions. Really, it could be
anything that looks like a nice spot in a small town.
INT. NEWSROOM
ANCHOR
A buzz of excited chatter is racing
through West Fairlee, New
Hampshire, as a strange traveler
unexpectedly arrived in the New
England town and electrified the
residents with a grand vision for a
utopian future.
FOOTAGE: John Edwards getting off a helicopter or plane. If
unavailable, just use some footage of him surrounded by
aides.
ANCHOR (V.O.)(CONT'D)
The mysterious traveler emerged
from a gleaming aircraft,
surrounded by a bevy of guards and
attendants. As crowds formed he was
swept away in secret, only to
reveal himself shortly thereafter.
EXT. RESTAURANT
WOMAN
We all gathered at the [whatever
the location is in the clip] in the
center of town to hear him speak.
We wanted to know who this stranger
was who had come to guide us.
FOOTAGE: Cut to clip of a real John Edwards stump speech.
ANCHOR (V.O.)
The traveler spoke to a gathered
crowd numbering in the hundreds,
enrapturing them with prophecies of
a future filled with prosperity.
JOHN EDWARDS CLIP
The choice we must make is as
important as it is clear.
It is a choice between looking back
and looking forward.
EXT. MARKETPLACE
A MAN stands with a non-speaking extra as his WIFE.
MAN
He offered us a choice: wallow in
sadness and despair, or join him in
a march toward a great new era!
FOOTAGE: Another Edwards speech clip.
JOHN EDWARDS CLIP
All of it is possible!
EXT. A MARKETPLACE
Same MAN as before.
MAN
This'll happen only if we select
him as leader. He warned us about
the others who will come to town
after him. He said we shouldn't
believe any of them.
EXT. A PARK
OLD MAN
He swore he would not be corrupted
by the temptations of money. If he
speaks the truth, then his will is
strong. Stronger than any man's I
have ever met.
FOOTAGE: Edwards in a crowd of people signing autographs,
taking pictures with people, answering their questions.
ANCHOR (V.O.)
After speaking, the traveler
descended from his stage to walk
amongst the people themselves,
listening to their stories and
allowing them to touch his clothes
and skin.
FOOTAGE: Edwards employees handing out pins, stickers,
shirts, etc.
ANCHOR (V.O.) (CONT'D)
The traveler's finely dressed
entourage made their way through
town with gifts and souvenirs for
everyone, encouraging them to
spread his message of prosperity to
others.
EXT. RESTAURANT
Same WOMAN from before holds up an Edwards bumper sticker and
a pin.
WOMAN
These things will remind me of him.
It will remind me to have hope in
the future.
FOOTAGE: Edwards shaking hands, hugging people, kissing
babies and all that.
EXT. A PARK
OLD MAN
I will never forget him.
INT. NEWSROOM
ANCHOR
After two hours in the city, the
traveler boarded his airplane and
flew away to spread his vision to
the next township: Cheever, New
Hampshire. Up next, venison. Just
how rotten is too rotten? The
answer may delight you.
END.
----
ALTERNATES:
SCOTT ALTERNATE:
MAN
He offered us a choice: wallow in
sadness and despair, or join him in
a march toward a great new era!
This is the greatest thing to ever
happen to our town.
--
FOOTAGE: Edwards eating food at a small town restaurant.
ANCHOR (V.O.)
After speaking, the traveler tested
the local food in order to get a
better familiarize himself with the
people.
--
FOOTAGE: Edwards eating food at a small town restaurant.
ANCHOR (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Before departing, the traveler took
in sustenance for the next leg of
his months-long journey.
--
MAN
He dressed like us, but he was not
one of us. He was better, wiser,
and stronger.
--
MAN (CONT'D)
Friends, he's just like us, except
no matter how hard the wind blew,
his hair stayed in one place,
shining and smooth.
--
WOMAN
He told us he'd save our planet
from suffocation by smoke and fire,
and then he made this sign.
(She gives a thumbs up)
What could it have meant? Surely
something glorious.
--
WOMAN (CONT'D)
(holding an Edwards pin)
His symbols remind me of him and
his incredible visit to our town.
--
OLD MAN
He said he could bring me medicine
and health. If his prophecies be
true, I may live out my days in
comfort and not pain.
--
ANCHOR
The traveler departed soon
thereafter. Where did he go? No
one can say. However, there are
rumors that a strange traveler
similar to him has been seen
walking the streets of Cheever, New
Hampshire. We'll follow that story
as details come in.
--
WOMAN
Never will I forget him. Never
will I forget the bold and
visionary visitor I saw this day.
--
ANCHOR
Upon departing, he said that
although his body would be gone, he
would stay with the townspeople in
spirit until the day when he took
his seat of power.
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