The Election: How It Works

As Abraham Lincoln once said, "This precious thing, this dream, this democratic process is a total clusterfuck." The Onion's War For the White House team explains the history, context, and facts behind the American electoral system.

Memorable Moments From Past Democratic Conventions:

Aug 26, 2008, 12:48 pm

1832: Andrew Jackson secures the Democratic nomination at the first-ever convention by tearing out the heart of a Choctaw warrior right on stage.

1864: The Democrats nominate Horatio Seymour as the party's candidate, which turns out to be a real bonehead move considering that he didn't wind up winning the presidency.
1944: Franklin D. Roosevelt doesn't even bother to show up this time.
1964: Robert Kennedy receives a 22-minute standing ovation while introducing a short film in honor of his late brother. The film is cut due to time constraints.
1968: The DNC ignites several clashes between Chicago police and Vietnam War protesters such as the Yippies, as well as several lesser-known anti-war groups including the Piffles, the Zip-Zops, the Fizzlers, and the Students for a Democratic Society.
1972: The DNC is held in Miami Beach over three days, two nights, six nightclubs, and four beaches before ending up in the basement of some Cuban restaurant at 5 a.m.
1992: Bill Clinton joins Fleetwood Mac onstage while they play his campaign theme song, "Don't Stop." Clinton appears comfortable despite his tumultuous affair with Stevie Nicks in the 1970s and his creative differences with Lindsey Buckingham during the Rumours sessions that nearly forced Clinton to quit the band.