Bob Barr

Bob Barr
Bob Barr
Views:
Pretty much the same as Ron Paul's, but without the avuncular charm

Issues:
(1995–2007) Trying to control the faith, sexuality, reproduction, drug use, and national allegiance of every single American. (2007–) Aw, Fuck it.

Looks Like:
Effeminate maître d'

Role In Clinton Impeachment:
Finger-pointer

Average Time To Summarize Libertarian Philosophy To Stranger:
4 hours, 16 minutes

As President, He Pledges To:
Use his platform to apologize for things he supported as a Republican

Key Issues

  • Health Care
    Pro–medical marijuana stance guarantees him solid support among those not registered to vote.
  • Iraq War
    Would allow troops to come home, but troops would have to buy their own plane tickets.
  • Abortion
    Believes that the removal of government regulations would foster competition, thus creating variety in the private market, from cheap back-alley clinics to five-star luxury abortion spas.
  • Immigration
    Once met this guy named Jose who seemed pretty cool. He can stay.
  • Economy
    Repeal the relevant constitutional amendments, and it will be fine.
  • Climate
    Believes that hurricanes, if given the right economic incentives, could be persuaded not to strike the American coastline.
  • Pakistaniran
    Nah.


Nov 21, 2009