The Election: How It Works
As Abraham Lincoln once said, "This precious thing, this dream, this democratic process is a total clusterfuck." The Onion's War For the White House team explains the history, context, and facts behind the American electoral system.
Memorable Moments From Past Republican Conventions:
Sep 02, 2008, 3:13 pm
- 1864: Unable to think of anything to say, Abraham Lincoln goes ahead and delivers the Gettysburg address again.
- 1904: Theodore Roosevelt saves the lives of hundreds of delegates by expertly shooting a pair of enraged white rhinos that had burst through the doors of the Chicago Coliseum.
- 1912: William Howard Taft easily secures the Republican nomination, forcing organizers to rethink the pie-eating-contest nominating paradigm.
- 1928: Herbert Hoover wows the crowd of supporters by waving to each and every one of them.
- 1940: The Republican National Convention is broadcast live on television for the first time, interrupting a Milton Berle sketch about two donkeys.
- 1992: The Republican National Convention in Houston somehow grosses $2.9 million for each attendee.
- 1996: Confetti enters the inner workings of Bob Dole's antiquated gear shafts, clogging the system, and causing the nominee to permanently lose control of his left hand
Send comments to politics@theonion.com.
Recent Posts
-
Understanding The Election Map Nov 05, 2008
A state-by-state breakdown of how the nation cast its ballots this Election Day
-
Non-Voter Activity Nov 04, 2008
Here's a look at how Americans who abstained from the democratic process spent their Election...
-
Voter Supression Report Nov 04, 2008
8:01am Rufus Watkins of Mobile, Alabama was turned away from the polls after failing to recall the...
-
Exit Poll Data Nov 04, 2008
7:10am Christopher Nathans, 18, cast an informed vote for president and half-a-dozen ignorant votes...
-
Republican Convention Official Partners Sep 03, 2008
The following is a selection of official sponsors and vendors to the Republican National Convention:
