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The Onion's editorial cartoonist, Kelly, used his 35 years of experience to offer an inside look at the most important events of the political party conventions. Read Kelly's dispatches from the beginning, or return to the main blog.
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RNC Coverage: More Of The Same
POSTED BY: Kelly, Onion Editorial Cartoonist
Sep 05, 2008, 2:54 pm
I left the very "UN-X-CELLENT" X-Cel Center via the West Exit for once (didn't really have a choice in the matter, thanks to the Gestapo they've got working "security"). It gave me a new perspective on the Republicans Convention. Look familiar?

Yes, it's another one of those franchised CNN Fancy Grills which seem to be popping up all across the nation. Watch out, Starbucks!
Thanks, but no thanks. Been there, done that. You can take your fancy CNN Beer and shove it where the sun don't shine.
Republicans and Democrats—what's the difference? They're both Parties of Big Money and Special Interests (namely, Ted Turner). For the first time I feel like my eyes have been opened. I can say at this moment that I see America's Political Landscape in a whole new light.
I've now got half a mind to vote for one of those "Third Party" candidates. They are the True Patriots. Independent as opposed to the "Big Two" parties who are merely puppets of their corporate puppet-masters, CNN.
So long, Fancy Grill. You won't be seeing Kelly in your dank halls anytime soon. I've moved on. I'm fed up with the Status Quo and I'm not going to settle for the same-old, same-old any longer!
Gotta find a McDonalds.
See Kelly's Editorial Cartoons Here
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