War For The White House Blog
About This Blogger
Gary is a member of the Young America's Foundation and an outspoken critic of liberal politics. Click here to read his posts from the beginning.
Subscribe to the election blog or all election coverage
The Anti-Obama Attack Campaign Is Developing, And So am I!
POSTED BY: Gary Brunson, 5-Week-Old Fetus
Oct 11, 2008, 1:26 pm
Yes! Finally, the McCain-Palin ticket is coming out swinging. I may only be an undifferentiated mass of cellular tissue, but even I could predict that as November got closer, they were finally going to go on the offensive, and boy oh boy, they did not disappoint me! For the last week, Palin has gone ballistic about Barack Hussein and his connections to crazed bomber 60s radicals.
All right! Now that’s the Republican party I know and love!
What’s the matter, liberals? Does what I’m saying upset you? Think that just because I'm a fetus that means I can’t play hardball with the big boys, is that it? Well guess what, blue-state donkeys? I can say anything I want and there's nothing you can do about it, because I haven’t been born yet, and as a member of the unborn, I am more important than everything else on Earth.
Hell, even a retarded fetus is more important than any other concern you can name—lack of experience, lack of knowledge, a pronounced inability to answer simple questions.
Still don’t like what I’m saying? Well, how about you try sucking it up, jerkwads! After all, what else can you really do?
Come on, I dare you! I double dare you! Yeah, that's right, I didn’t think you had the guts.
Man, being a fetus fucking rules.
Send comments to politics@theonion.com.
Recent Posts
-
Oi! The Americans 'ave Picked A President! Nov 07, 2008
Well bless my 'eart and call me Cromwell! The yank election 'as come to an end at last. Isn't it wonderful? A new...
-
The Cauldron Of History Nov 05, 2008
It has been brought to my attention that another flag-bedecked, bunting-encrusted electoral pantechnicon has been...
-
All The Electric Premonition That Rides The Sky Being A Drama Of Human Devising Nov 05, 2008
In the morning, Electorate, he passes people trooping away from home with their newspapers, bearers of a weight that...
-
A Message From FBI Agent Lucas Emerson Nov 05, 2008
To Whom It May Concern:
This political blog, normally authored by one
-
Here's How You Win An Election, Mr. McCain Nov 03, 2008
Oh no! It looks like John McCain's in a lot...












