HBO DEBATE (SHOOTING)
Idea: ? Script: Kukoda
6/23/08 Latest (CLK)
Robert Haige
C Terrance - Looks down on anyone who watches non-HBO
debates. "They're garbage!" - Talks about debate as if
he's being critical of a movie. Talks about lighting and
drops a bunch of film terms. Was disappointed. - Didn't
think the debate lived up to the hype, thought they built
the conflict really good but they had nowhere to go
(basically he's an overanalytical TV snob). - Asks that
nobody tell him what happens on The Wire. He just got
Season 2 on DVD.
Leslie Hillerman - was confused.
Pundit - A fan of HBO
INT. IN THE KNOW SET
HOST
I'm HOST sitting in for Clifford
Banes who is plummeting towards
earth at ninety three miles per
hour.
FOOTAGE: Graphic scenes from HBO shows: the strip club in
The Sopranos, shootouts in The Wire, guys' bare asses in
Sex & The City.
ALTERNATE FOOTAGE: Photoshopped news clippings from
television critics praising the debate.
HOST (CONT'D)
Last night HBO hosted its first
ever presidential debate, which
the New York Times hailed as
"brilliant" and predicted would
quote "revolutionize television
political debates." Did the HBO
debate live up to all the hype?
C. TERRANCE
Yes, the grittiness, the non
linear question format--
PUNDIT
It was just so much more real.
The PANELISTS agree.
ROBERT
When McCain and Obama were talking
about non-tariff barriers it
sounded the way people really talk
about non-tariff barriers. Not
like the way they talk on network
TV.
HOST
What about the use of profanity in
last night's debate? Most critics
thought it benefited John McCain.
C. TERRANCE
Yes, I agree. During their
rebuttals, Obama just did not seem
comfortable calling McCain a
"shitfuck," whereas McCain really
looked in his element when he said
Obama's foreign policy resume was
shorter than a cunt hair.
LESLIE
I thought it was a little hard to
follow. They didn't even explain
who Steve Buscemi was Steve
Buscemi supposed to be.
PUNDIT
He was the moderator.
LESLIE
Oh! I tuned in late and I couldn't
figure it out. I thought he was
supposed to be McCain's brother or
something.
ROBERT
I thought Steve Buscemi did a
great job handling the candidates,
but I'm not sure why we saw his
bare ass repeatedly throughout the
debate.
C. TERRANCE
Yes, that didn't really seem tied
to the questions he was asking.
HOST
I'm sure it had some deeper
significance we're not grasping.
Now, what did you think of HBO's
decision not to impose time limits
on the candidates' responses?
PUNDIT
Obama really made the most of that
when he answered the question on
immigration by weaving together
the stories of three different
California families who come from
different walks of life but share
the same psychiatrist.
ROBERT
Although at three hours, I think
it went a bit long.
LESLIE
That answer certainly took an
unexpected turn to the violent at
the end.
C. TERRANCE
Sure, but it was tastefully done.
HOST
Was anyone else bothered by the
level of violence in last night's
debate?
PUNDIT
I think it did go too far at some
points. Couldn't John McCain have
made his point about fiscal
discipline without pistol-whipping
that stripper?
ROBERT
That was meant to demonstrate his
hostility to congressional
earmarks. At least, that's what I
got.
EVERYONE BUT LESLIE
Yeah, yeah/Definitely/I'm sure
that's what that was.
LESLIE
Well, in general, I think the
whole debate could've been more
clear.
HOST
In what way?
LESLIE
Like the part where Obama knocked
over his water glass, and it fell
on the floor and shattered, and
the camera zoomed in on it... I'm
pretty sure that was supposed to
mean something, but I couldn't
quite figure out what it was.
PUNDIT
I believe that was an allusion to
Obama's attempt to reform our
intrinsically broken political
system.
ROBERT
Yes.
LESLIE
But when that janitor came out to
clean up the glass, how did he
know all that stuff about Obama's
childhood?
C. TERRANCE
No, that was Obama's subconscious
in the form of a janitor. I'm
pretty sure.
ALL PUNDITS
Oh, so that's who he was!/I get it
now./I See
LESLIE
Oh! So it wasn't a real janitor.
I really need to watch this thing
again.
HOST
Debate producers did say it was
designed to reward repeat
viewings.
C. TERRANCE
Yes, I watched the encore showing
on HBO 2 and I noticed quite a few
details I missed the first time.
Like, during the audience question
portion, the guy who asked about
gas prices was the same guy from
in front of that gas station
during the opening montage.
ALL PUNDITS
Huh. / Really? / Oh. / Hmm.
ROBERT
I want to go back and watch the
ending again. It seemed like
McCain was about to make his
closing statement, but then he
just stared off into the distance
and the screen faded to black. It
felt like I missed something.
C. TERRANCE
I didn't like it at first, but
then I read in the Times today why
they ended it that way and I
decided I liked it.
HOST
Now, next Saturday Cinemax will be
televising a vice presidential
debate moderated by Shannon Tweed
that promises more nudity and less
intellectual posturing. Do you
think it will be a success?
C. TERRANCE
I'll be watching it, but I'll be
doing so ironically.
PUNDIT
Now, is Shannon Tweed the one that
was in Mysterious Desires?
ROBERT
No, you're thinking of Misty
Munday. Shannon Tweed was in Body
of Deception. But they were both
about strippers who also work as
private detectives.
HOST
Well, as long as there's titties
in it.
THE END.
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