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Kendra has poured coffee for every major presidential candidate of the last 16 years, except Barack Obama and John McCain, who apparently couldn't be bothered. Read her posts from the beginning, or return to the main blog.
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A Message From FBI Agent Lucas Emerson
POSTED BY: Kendra Davidson, Owner of The Davidson Family Restaurant in Cedar Rapids, IA
Nov 05, 2008, 9:09 am
To Whom It May Concern:
This political blog, normally authored by one Kendra Davidson, will immediately cease publication effective this post. As many of you may know, Ms. Davidson has been detained at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base following a series of coordinated attacks on Senators John McCain and Barack Obama, the most recent of which involved attempting to jettison a food product she referred to as "Swing State Fish 'N' Chips" into their respective campaign headquarters using a crude homemade cannon constructed of PVC piping and a butane triggering system. The payloads from these two attacks are currently being analyzed for any possible chemical or biological agents.
Anyone with any information pertaining to this investigation is urged to come forward.
Thank you,
FBI Agent Lucas Emerson
Send comments to politics@theonion.com.
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