1

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less (1:44)

2

Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker (2:05)

3

US To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com (2:24)

4

Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature (2:13)

5

Congressman Demands To Know Who Left Fish Sandwich To Rot On House Floor (2:46)

6

Conservatives Warn Quick Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays, Marriage (2:25)

7

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable' (2:13)

8

New BabySafe Ball Makes Shaking Your Infant Guilt And Injury Free (2:57)

9

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's (2:46)

10

Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire (2:39)

11

NHL Tries To Woo Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line (1:51)

12

Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg (2:19)

13

Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq (2:09)

14

Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee (2:29)

15

Congressman's Son Won't Shut The Hell Up During Hearing (2:12)

16

Ambassador Stages Coup At UN, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions (1:53)

17

Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes (2:17)

18

Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together' (3:10)