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Age-Progression Technology Indicates Missing Child A Prostitute By Now (2:49)
Age-Progression Technology Indicates Missing Child A Prostitute By Now (2:49)
McCain Vows To Replace Secret Service With His Own Bare Fists (1:31)
Astronauts Suffer Agonizing, High-Pitched Death After Helium Leak (2:13)
NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team (1:42)
Home Depot Honors Fallen Soldiers With Great Prices On Tools (2:43)
Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night (1:09)
Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film (2:34)
Today Now! Host Tracy Gill Recommends New Tracy Gill Biography (2:16)
China Celebrates Its Status As World’s Number One Air Polluter (2:03)
White House Press Secretary Spins Wife’s Tragic Death As A Positive (2:19)
Delicious Snacks Distract Congressmen From Horrors Of War (2:38)
Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys To Hospital (1:11)
In The Know: How Can We Make The War In Iraq More Eco-Friendly? (2:07)
Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early (2:43)
New Auto Security System Will Not Allow Car To Start If Driver Is Nick Nolte (1:14)
Nation Of Andorra Not In Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports (2:03)
Expert On Anteaters Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters (2:54)
Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently (1:45)
In The Know: New Iraqi Law Requires Waiting Period For Suicide Vest Purchases (2:15)
Ngyuen Thi Buch Thuy: 'Just Give Me The Damn Sepak Takraw Ball' (2:05)
Live From Congress: Representative Wants To Rid Congress Of Gang Members (1:57)
Mysterious Traveler Entrances Town With Utopian Vision Of The Future (1:41)
Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot (2:26)
As Obese Population Rises, More Candidates Courting The Fat Vote (1:18)
Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes (2:23)
Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations Of Tolerance (2:17)
In The Know: Are We Giving The Robots That Run Our Society Too Much Power? (2:09)
Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers (2:16)
Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters (2:21)
Controversial Tell-All Book Reveals Wrestling Fans Are Fake (2:17)
Queen Elizabeth II Will Leave Behind Long Legacy Of Waving (2:16)
International Scandal: Don Cheadle Planned Darfur Genocide To Create Film Role (2:09)
Our Troops Send Holiday Wishes For Peace, Goodwill, And Body Armor (1:39)
Report: Nation’s Wealthy Cruelly Deprived Of True Meaning Of Christmas (1:49)
Should Animals Be Doing More For The Animal Rights Movement? (1:55)
Evangeline Lilly Wins 'Best Wet T-Shirt Fight Scene' At Strong Women In TV Awards (2:24)
Reporters Expose Airport Security Lapses By Blowing Up Plane (2:38)
Mitt Romney Is Candidate Most Voters Want To Get Into Bar Fight With (2:26)
Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On (2:27)
Rep. Gary Nelson (R-CT) Introduces The Gary Nelson Personal Pay Raise Bill (2:39)
Americans Enjoying Thanksgiving Tradition Of Sitting Around At Airport (1:10)
How Can We Raise Awareness In Darfur Of How Much We're Doing For Them? (2:33)
Medical Miracle: Man Lives Thanks To Heart Stolen From Dead Man (3:06)
Messages From Our Troops To The Families They Can Barely Remember (1:13)
Christian Charity Raising Money To Feed Non-Gay Famine Victims (1:45)
Live From Congress: Representative Wants To See, Meet More Kids Online (2:08)
Preemptive Memorial Honors Future Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster (2:32)
In The Know: Is The Government Spying On Paranoid Schizophrenics Enough? (2:19)
Proposed (Classified) Bill Will Defend Against Flesh-Eating (Classified) (1:46)
Viewer Voices: Where We Respond To The Opinions Of Our Uninformed Viewers (1:53)
Country Music Stars Challenge Al-Qaeda With Patriotic New Song ‘Bomb New York’ (2:40)
In The Know: Situation In Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex (2:41)
African-American Boycott of L.L. Bean Enters 80th Year (2:07)
In The Know: White House Announces 'Everything Is Great In Iraf' (1:40)
Domestic Abuse No Longer A Problem, Say Bruised Female Researchers (1:08)
In The Know: Should Americans Return To A Simpler, Stone Age Lifestyle? (1:29)
'Students First In Line' Program To Offer Job Training At Needy Schools (1:37)
In The Know: Are America's Rich Falling Behind The Super-Rich? (2:42)
Missing Girl Probably Raped (2:33)
National Lost And Found: Did You Lose A Flag Of The Marshall Islands? (2:04)
Beyonce Unhurt After Stray Bullet Miraculously Hits Passerby Instead (1:27)
In The Know: Should We Be Shaming Obese Children More? (2:06)
Live From Congress: Rep. Hardy Calls For A Ladies' Night Out (1:22)
In The Know: Is Our Wealth Hurting Africa’s Feelings? (1:59)
Time Releases Annual List Of Least Influential Americans (2:36)
In The Know: Are Our Children Learning Enough About Whales? (2:17)
Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys (1:08)
U.S. Department Of Lost And Found: We Found Your Flip Flop (1:37)
Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash (3:01)
Live From Congress: Rep. Ingersoll's Murder of a Hobo (1:50)
Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas (2:05)
U.S. Department of Lost and Found: Umbrellas and Sweaters (2:07)
Tired Of Traffic? A New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk' (1:21)
In The Know: Kim Jong-Il's Approval Rating Plummets to 120% (1:45)
Liechtenstein Successfully Tests Teeny Tiny Nuclear Bomb (0:56)
Study: Alzheimer’s Patients Say They Do Not Have Alzheimer’s (1:00)
In The Know: America Braces For New Wayans Brothers Movie (1:18)
Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays (2:01)
In The Know: War On Terror (1:18)
In The Know: The U.S. Moat (1:37)
Panda Demands Abortion (2:27)
Immigration: The Human Cost (2:24)
Onion News Network Promo (0:32)
