• 1 ET Alien

    Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T. (2:45)

  • 2 Obama Teleprompter

    Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner (2:31)

  • 3 Modern Warfare

    Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks (2:42)

  • 4 Shitty Ford

    Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus (1:36)

  • 5 Glenn Beck

    Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck (1:43)

  • 6 Roof Collapse

    Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End To Clippers Game (2:13)

  • 7 Masculine Costumes

    How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son (2:43)

  • 8 Biden Sneeze

    Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again By Sneezing During Meeting (2:25)

  • 9 Bad Boy Fencer

    Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist (2:42)

  • 10 Stalker Reporter

    Stalker Financial Expert Offers Recession Tips Just For Woman He Follows (1:55)

  • 11 Obama Wildfires

    Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire (2:38)

  • 12 Teen Smoking

    New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay To Smoke' (2:36)

  • 13 Obama Family

    Poll: Happy, Healthy Obamas Out Of Touch With Miserable Americans (2:17)

  • 14 Sexual Arson

    Crime Reporter Finds Way Of Linking Warehouse Fire To Depraved Sex Act (2:56)

  • 15 Daddys Gun

    Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar (2:18)

  • 16 Bat Loose

    BREAKING NEWS: BAT LOOSE IN CONGRESS (3:04)

  • 17 Nouveau Poor

    Report: Growing Ranks Of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination From Old Poor (2:34)

  • 18 Preemptive Clinton

    U.S. Condemned For Pre-Emptive Use Of Hillary Clinton Against Pakistan (2:20)

  • 19 9 11 Masturbation

    Americans Observing 9/11 By Trying Not To Masturbate (1:36)

  • 20 Lions Mentors

    NFL Players Mentor Troubled Detroit Lions (1:42)

  • 21 E Mom

    Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids (2:39)

  • 22 Minatour Maze

    Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture? (2:31)

  • 23 Ominous Music

    Ominous Music Heard Throughout U.S. Sends Nation Into Panic (2:41)

  • 24 Magic Lamp

    Baseball Superstar Accused of Performance-Enhancing Genie Use (2:48)

  • 25 Cyclical Obama

    White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase (2:09)

  • 26 Peta Protest

    Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women (2:10)

  • 27 Google Village

    Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village (2:09)

  • 28 Ex-Pedophile

    Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips On How To Make Your Kids Less Attractive (2:07)

  • 29 Fake Coup

    U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt (2:21)

  • 30 Plastic Surgery

    Congresswoman Says Botched Plastic Surgery Most Important Issue Facing U.S. (1:51)

  • 31 Boxing A Horse

    Evander Holyfield To Box Horse For Heavyweight Title (2:28)

  • 32 Productive Woman

    Police Still Searching For Missing Productive, Obedient Woman (2:43)

  • 33 Child Politicians

    Human Rights Group Campaigns To End Use Of Child Politicians In Africa (2:29)

  • 34 Dragon Tank

    Obama Axes Pentagon Plan To Build Billion Dollar Tank In Shape Of Dragon (1:57)

  • 35 Live Poll

    New Live Poll Allows Pundits To Pander To Viewers In Real Time (3:01)

  • 36 Asshole Wall

    Mexico Builds Border Wall To Keep Out U.S. Assholes (1:36)

  • 37 Green Menu

    Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature (2:13)

  • 38 Obama Performance

    Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker (2:05)

  • 39 Cash4Gold

    U.S. To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com (2:24)

  • 40 Gymnast Euthanized

    Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg (2:19)

  • 41 Fish Sandwich

    Congressman Demands To Know Who Left Fish Sandwich To Rot On House Floor (2:46)

  • 42 Dennys Obama

    Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's (2:46)

  • 43 Baby Orb

    New BabySafe Ball Makes Shaking Your Infant Guilt And Injury Free (2:57)

  • 44 Tranny Loophole

    Conservatives Warn Quick Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays, Marriage (2:25)

  • 45 Manslaughter

    Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes (2:17)

  • 46 Nation's Girlfriends

    Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together' (3:10)

  • 47 NHL Experiment

    NHL Tries To Woo Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line (1:51)

  • 48 Apartment Fires

    Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire (2:39)

  • 49 Kid In Committee

    Congressman's Son Won't Shut The Hell Up During Hearing (2:12)

  • 50 Mascot Killed

    Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq (2:09)

  • 51 Spelling Bee

    Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee (2:29)

  • 52 Star Trek

    Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable' (2:13)

  • 53 Ugandan Ambassador

    Ambassador Stages Coup At UN, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions (1:53)

  • 54 Ford Plants

    Autoworkers Compete to Keep Jobs, Livelihoods on New Reality Show (3:24)

  • 55 Dreams Too Violent

    Should We Be Doing More To Reduce The Graphic Violence In Our Dreams? (2:28)

  • 56 Outsourcing Own Jobs

    More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas (2:18)

  • 57 Chinese Pollution

    China Celebrates Its Status As World’s Number One Air Polluter (2:03)

  • 58 Money Recall

    Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All U.S. Dollars (1:42)

  • 59 Prison Economy

    Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Exceeds Two Hand Jobs (2:07)

  • 60 Porn Awkward

    Study: Children Exposed To Pornography May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable (2:09)

  • 61 Point Blank

    Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face (1:47)

  • 62 Flying Debris

    Morning Show Host Starts Charity To Rid World Of Flying Debris (3:00)

  • 63 DNA Trial

    DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack (1:59)

  • 64 Son In Iraq

    Congressman’s War Hero Son Would Have Wanted Highway Bill Passed (2:09)

  • 65 Kafka Airport

    Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport (2:17)

  • 66 Chinese Rooney

    China’s Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great The Chinese Government Is (2:33)

  • 67 Pervert Dino

    Paleontologists Discover Skeleton Of Nature’s First Sexual Predator (2:02)

  • 68 Exploding Bullets

    Manufacturer Recalls Hollow Point Bullets That Fail To Explode Inside Targets (2:01)

  • 69 Giant Crabs

    Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat (2:29)

  • 70 4096 Teams

    NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams (2:18)

  • 71 Preemptive Apology

    Congressman Offers Preemptive Apology For Extramarital Affair (2:17)

  • 72 B-List Celebrity

    Jennifer Love Hewitt Pays Magazine $2.2 Million To Run Photos Of Her Baby (1:57)

  • 73 Post Apocalyptic

    Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse? (1:57)

  • 74 Spam Nation

    Spam Crackdown Threatens Koy4Goff's Penis Enlarger, Free iPod Industry (2:39)

  • 75 No Cancer

    Courageous Man Refuses To Believe He Has Cancer (2:41)

  • 76 Female Dictator

    East Timor's First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women (2:10)

  • 77 Depressant Drug

    FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful (1:58)

  • 78 Sony Fuck

    Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work (2:22)

  • 79 Skanks

    In The Know: Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks? (2:19)

  • 80 Coach Retires

    Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team (2:16)

  • 81 Waxing Floors

    How To Wax Your Floors Without Slipping And Severing Your Spine (2:58)

  • 82 Moon To North Korea

    Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea (2:16)

  • 83 School Shooting

    Police Say School Shooter Had Troubled Past, History Of School Shootings (2:32)

  • 84 Bratz Dolls

    Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size (3:20)

  • 85 Inauguration Dance

    Congress Debates Adding Elaborate Dance To Obama's Inauguration Ceremony (2:21)

  • 86 Gas Explosion

    Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gasoline (2:25)

  • 87 Horse Abuse

    Man Who Crossed Nation In Balloon Only Wants To Talk About Horse Abuse (2:38)

  • 88 No Keyboard

    Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard (2:37)

  • 89 Weather Bias

    Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias (2:09)

  • 90 Stepdad Craze

    Aunts And Stepdads Line Up For This Year's Hottest Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle (1:46)

  • 91 Disaster President

    President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons In Action-Packed Schedule (2:37)

  • 92 Blackberry

    New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work On The Go (2:19)

  • 93 Larry King

    NASA Simulator Prepares Astronauts For Rigors Of An Interview With Larry King (3:03)

  • 94 USDA Takes

    USDA Official Takes Courageous Stand Against Interstate Countercyclical Potato Pricing (2:55)

  • 95 Thanksgiving Pardon

    In Thanksgiving Tradition, Bush Pardons Scooter Libby In Giant Turkey Costume (1:34)

  • 96 Attractive Girls

    Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman (3:08)

  • 97 Money Hole

    In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole? (1:56)

  • 98 Good Video

    YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video (2:23)

  • 99 Nothing To Talk About

    Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are (2:39)

  • 100 Voting Machine

    Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President (3:06)

  • 101 Barbara Bush

    Barbara Bush Runs Aground Off Coast Of Maine (2:28)

  • 102 Halloween

    In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized? (3:10)

  • 103 Obama Internship

    Obama Undertakes Presidential Internship To Ease Concerns About His Lack Of Experience (2:50)

  • 104 CIndy McCain Humans

    Cindy McCain Claims She’s ‘Just Like Any Other Female Human’ (1:55)

  • 105 Nonsense

    Press Secretary's 'Zumtrel Flooby' Answer May Be Attempt To Evade Question (2:15)

  • 106 Gay Horse

    First Openly Gay Racehorse To Compete Sunday (2:50)

  • 107 Abandoned McCain

    John McCain Accidentally Left On Campaign Bus Overnight (2:30)

  • 108 HBO Debate

    Was There Too Much Sex And Profanity In The HBO Presidential Debate? (2:06)

  • 109 Bake Sale

    Precocious Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad (2:32)

  • 110 Boy Scouts

    12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams (2:49)

  • 111 Worst Autumn

    Extreme Weather Alert: Meteorologists Predict Intensely Brisk Autumn (2:03)

  • 112 Swing State

    Gunman Kills 15 Potential Voters In Crucial Swing State (2:58)

  • 113 Willing Man

    China Launches First Willing Manned Mission Into Space (2:05)

  • 114 Constructive Criticism

    Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad Against McCain (2:49)

  • 115 Vacation Stadium

    Yankees Building New Vacation Stadium In The Hamptons (2:06)

  • 116 Beer Heiress

    McCain’s Economic Plan For Nation: 'Everyone Marry A Beer Heiress' (1:52)

  • 117 Obama Shitty Jobs

    Obama Promises To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas (2:17)

  • 118 Disney Lab

    Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Line Of Genetically Engineered Child Stars (2:32)

  • 119 Anti Bush Economy

    Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse (2:21)

  • 120 Existential Coin Toss

    Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life (2:32)

  • 121 Cop Medium

    Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As It Looks On TV (2:37)

  • 122 Grizzled McCain

    Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate May Steal Support From McCain (2:19)

  • 123 Obama Snob

    Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans (2:13)

  • 124 Hurricane Slowed

    Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To The South (2:03)

  • 125 Seasonal Wildfires

    Californians Gather To Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition (1:36)

  • 126 New Demographics

    Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election (2:32)

  • 127 Fat Astronaut

    Astronaut Suspects NASA Using Him To Test Space's Effects On Fat People (2:05)

  • 128 Olympic Fever

    Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever (1:29)

  • 129 Cosmo

    'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man (1:50)

  • 130 SPOKESDRONE

    Pentagon's Unmanned Spokesdrone Completes First Press Conference Mission (1:40)

  • 131 Beijing

    The Beijing Olympics: Are They A Trap? (1:33)

  • 132 Office Politics

    Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politics (2:16)

  • 133 Omelet Dream

    Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelet' From Recipe That Came To Him In A Dream (2:46)

  • 134 Dominos Study

    Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat (1:30)

  • 135 Tiny Dog

    Tiny Dog Has Been Barking Nonstop For 6 Years (1:14)

  • 136 No Values Voters

    'No Values Voters' Looking To Support Most Evil Candidate (1:50)

  • 137 DEA NAME

    Congress Struggles To Come Up With Cool Name For Anti-Drug Initiative (2:39)

  • 138 India Pakistan

    Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff Enters 11,680th Day (2:22)

  • 139 Bush Tours

    Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency (2:49)

  • 140 Miley Cyrus

    Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013 (2:19)

  • 141

    Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election (2:51)

  • 142 Death Penalty

    Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass' (2:53)

  • 143 Childrens Healthcare

    Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Children’s Healthcare (1:35)

  • 144 High School Tonys

    High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds (1:41)

  • 145 Internment Camps

    U.S. Finally Gets Around To Closing Last WWII Internment Camp (1:42)

  • 146 Warcraft

    'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft' (2:18)

  • 147 Sheep Goat

    Genetic Scientists Develop Sheep With Brain Of A Goat (1:18)

  • 148 Feedbags

    New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less (1:44)

  • 149 Phiippines Landslide

    Reporter In Helicopter Pretty Sure Landslide Down There Somewhere (2:59)

  • 150 Donkey Basketball

    2-Year-Old Donkey Called Up To Pro Donkey Basketball League (2:05)

  • 151 Diana Crash

    Horrific 120-Car Pileup A Sad Reminder Of Princess Diana’s Death (1:55)

  • 152 Hidden Calories

    Diet Book Author Advocates New 'No Food Diet' (3:20)

  • 153 Lobbyist Money

    In The Know: Are Politicians Failing Our Lobbyists? (2:33)

  • 154 Video Store

    Historic ‘Blockbuster’ Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past (1:59)

  • 155 Age Progression

    Age-Progression Technology Indicates Missing Child A Prostitute By Now (2:49)

  • 156 Helium

    Astronauts Suffer Agonizing, High-Pitched Death After Helium Leak (2:13)

  • 157 NHL NFL

    NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team (1:42)

  • 158 Roommate Study

    Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night (1:09)

  • 159 Catchphrase

    Congress Debates Merits Of New Catchphrase (2:39)

  • 160 Popular Trailer

    Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film (2:34)

  • 161 Suspicious Package

    Suspicious Package Industry Falls On Hard Times (1:30)

  • 162 Missing Hikers

    Plight Of Missing Hikers Will Make Great Movie (2:05)

  • 163 Pot Pies

    Hungry FDA Official Orders Massive Pot Pie Recall (2:11)

  • 164 Conspiracy Theory

    9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says (2:46)

  • 165 Anchor Bio

    Today Now! Host Tracy Gill Recommends New Tracy Gill Biography (2:16)

  • 166 Press Secretary

    White House Press Secretary Spins Wife’s Tragic Death As A Positive (2:19)

  • 167 Daughter to War

    Army Holds Annual 'Bring Your Daughter To War' Day (1:13)

  • 168 Chips and Salsa

    Delicious Snacks Distract Congressmen From Horrors Of War (2:38)

  • 169 200 Kidneys

    Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys To Hospital (1:11)

  • 170 Alyson Hannigan

    FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It’s Alyson Hannigan (2:53)

  • 171 Diebold

    In The Know: How Can We Make The War In Iraq More Eco-Friendly? (2:07)

  • 172 Diebold

    Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early (2:43)

  • 173 Nolte

    New Auto Security System Will Not Allow Car To Start If Driver Is Nick Nolte (1:14)

  • 174 Andorra

    Nation Of Andorra Not In Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports (2:03)

  • 175 Anteater

    Expert On Anteaters Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters (2:54)

  • 176 Online Dating

    Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently (1:45)

  • 177 Suicide Belts

    In The Know: New Iraqi Law Requires Waiting Period For Suicide Vest Purchases (2:15)

  • 178 Nguyen Thi Buch Thuy

    Ngyuen Thi Buch Thuy: 'Just Give Me The Damn Sepak Takraw Ball' (2:05)

  • 179 Clean up

    Live From Congress: Representative Wants To Rid Congress Of Gang Members (1:57)

  • 180 Mysterious Traveler

    Mysterious Traveler Entrances Town With Utopian Vision Of The Future (1:41)

  • 181 Circles

    Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot (2:26)

  • 182 Fat Vote

    As Obese Population Rises, More Candidates Courting The Fat Vote (1:18)

  • 183 Today Now: Make a Wish

    Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes (2:23)

  • 184 Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations Of Tolerance

    Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations Of Tolerance (2:17)

  • 185 Robot

    In The Know: Are We Giving The Robots That Run Our Society Too Much Power? (2:09)

  • 186 Child Soldiers

    Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers (2:16)

  • 187 BULLSHIT

    Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters (2:21)

  • 188 Sec of state

    Condoleezza Rice To Voyage East (0:44)

  • 189 WRESTLING FANS

    Controversial Tell-All Book Reveals Wrestling Fans Are Fake (2:17)

  • 190 NASCAR

    NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: 'Drive Fast' (2:41)

  • 191 QUEEN WAVING

    Queen Elizabeth II Will Leave Behind Long Legacy Of Waving (2:16)

  • 192 DON CHEADLE

    International Scandal: Don Cheadle Planned Darfur Genocide To Create Film Role (2:09)

  • 193 MFT XMAS

    Our Troops Send Holiday Wishes For Peace, Goodwill, And Body Armor (1:39)

  • 194 ANIMAL RIGHTS

    Should Animals Be Doing More For The Animal Rights Movement? (1:55)

  • 195 WOMEN IN TV

    Evangeline Lilly Wins 'Best Wet T-Shirt Fight Scene' At Strong Women In TV Awards (2:24)

  • 196 Reporters Expose Security Lapses By Smuggling Bomb On Plane, Blowing It Up

    Reporters Expose Airport Security Lapses By Blowing Up Plane (2:38)

  • 197 POOR CHRISTMAS

    Report: Nation’s Wealthy Cruelly Deprived Of True Meaning Of Christmas (1:49)

  • 198 BARFIGHT

    Mitt Romney Is Candidate Most Voters Want To Get Into Bar Fight With (2:26)

  • 199 FAT KID

    Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On (2:27)

  • 200 PAY RAISE

    Rep. Gary Nelson (R-CT) Introduces The Gary Nelson Personal Pay Raise Bill (2:39)