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New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less (1:44)
New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less (1:44)
Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature (2:13)
Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker (2:05)
US To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com (2:24)
Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg (2:19)
Congressman Demands To Know Who Left Fish Sandwich To Rot On House Floor (2:46)
Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's (2:46)
New BabySafe Ball Makes Shaking Your Infant Guilt And Injury Free (2:57)
Conservatives Warn Quick Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays, Marriage (2:25)
Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes (2:17)
Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together' (3:10)
NHL Tries To Woo Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line (1:51)
Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire (2:39)
Congressman's Son Won't Shut The Hell Up During Hearing (2:12)
Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq (2:09)
Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee (2:29)
Ambassador Stages Coup At UN, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions (1:53)
Autoworkers Compete to Keep Jobs, Livelihoods on New Reality Show (3:24)
Should We Be Doing More To Reduce The Graphic Violence In Our Dreams? (2:28)
Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All US Dollars (1:42)
Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Exceeds Two Hand Jobs (2:07)
Study: Children Exposed To Pornography May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable (2:09)
Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face (1:47)
Morning Show Host Starts Charity To Rid World Of Flying Debris (3:00)
DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack (1:59)
Congressman’s War Hero Son Would Have Wanted Highway Bill Passed (2:09)
Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport (2:17)
Paleontologists Discover Skeleton Of Nature’s First Sexual Predator (2:02)
Manufacturer Recalls Hollow Point Bullets That Fail To Explode Inside Targets (2:01)
Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat (2:29)
Congressman Offers Preemptive Apology For Extramarital Affair (2:17)
Jennifer Love Hewitt Pays Magazine $2.2 Million To Run Photos Of Her Baby (1:57)
Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse? (1:57)
Spam Crackdown Threatens Koy4Goff's Penis Enlarger, Free iPod Industry (2:39)
East Timor's First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women (2:10)
FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful (1:58)
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work (2:22)
In The Know: Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks? (2:19)
Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team (2:16)
How To Wax Your Floors Without Slipping And Severing Your Spine (2:58)
Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea (2:16)
Police Say School Shooter Had Troubled Past, History Of School Shootings (2:32)
Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size (3:20)
Congress Debates Adding Elaborate Dance To Obama's Inauguration Ceremony (2:21)
Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gasoline (2:25)
Man Who Crossed Nation In Balloon Only Wants To Talk About Horse Abuse (2:38)
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard (2:37)
Aunts And Stepdads Line Up For This Year's Hottest Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle (1:46)
President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons In Action-Packed Schedule (2:37)
New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work On The Go (2:19)
NASA Simulator Prepares Astronauts For Rigors Of An Interview With Larry King (3:03)
USDA Official Takes Courageous Stand Against Interstate Countercyclical Potato Pricing (2:55)
In Thanksgiving Tradition, Bush Pardons Scooter Libby In Giant Turkey Costume (1:34)
China’s Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great The Chinese Government Is (2:33)
Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman (3:08)
In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole? (1:56)
YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video (2:23)
Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are (2:39)
In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized? (3:10)
Obama Undertakes Presidential Internship To Ease Concerns About His Lack Of Experience (2:50)
Cindy McCain Claims She’s ‘Just Like Any Other Female Human’ (1:55)
Press Secretary's 'Zumtrel Flooby' Answer May Be Attempt To Evade Question (2:15)
John McCain Accidentally Left On Campaign Bus Overnight (2:30)
Was There Too Much Sex And Profanity In The HBO Presidential Debate? (2:06)
12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams (2:49)
Extreme Weather Alert: Meteorologists Predict Intensely Brisk Autumn (2:03)
Gunman Kills 15 Potential Voters In Crucial Swing State (2:58)
China Launches First Willing Manned Mission Into Space (2:05)
Yankees Building New Vacation Stadium In The Hamptons (2:06)
McCain’s Economic Plan For Nation: 'Everyone Marry A Beer Heiress' (1:52)
Obama Promises To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas (2:17)
Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Line Of Genetically Engineered Child Stars (2:32)
Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse (2:21)
Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life (2:32)
Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As It Looks On TV (2:37)
Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate May Steal Support From McCain (2:19)
Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans (2:13)
Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To The South (2:03)
Californians Gather To Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition (1:36)
Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election (2:32)
Astronaut Suspects NASA Using Him To Test Space's Effects On Fat People (2:05)
Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever (1:29)
'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man (1:50)
Pentagon's Unmanned Spokesdrone Completes First Press Conference Mission (1:40)
Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politics (2:16)
Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelet' From Recipe That Came To Him In A Dream (2:46)
Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat (1:30)
'No Values Voters' Looking To Support Most Evil Candidate (1:50)
Congress Struggles To Come Up With Cool Name For Anti-Drug Initiative (2:39)
Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency (2:49)
Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013 (2:19)
Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election (2:51)
Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass' (2:53)
Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Children’s Healthcare (1:35)
High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds (1:41)
U.S. Finally Gets Around To Closing Last WWII Internment Camp (1:42)
'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft' (2:18)
Genetic Scientists Develop Sheep With Brain Of A Goat (1:18)
Reporter In Helicopter Pretty Sure Landslide Down There Somewhere (2:59)
2-Year-Old Donkey Called Up To Pro Donkey Basketball League (2:05)
Horrific 120-Car Pileup A Sad Reminder Of Princess Diana’s Death (1:55)
Historic ‘Blockbuster’ Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past (1:59)
Age-Progression Technology Indicates Missing Child A Prostitute By Now (2:49)
Astronauts Suffer Agonizing, High-Pitched Death After Helium Leak (2:13)
NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team (1:42)
Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night (1:09)
Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film (2:34)
Today Now! Host Tracy Gill Recommends New Tracy Gill Biography (2:16)
China Celebrates Its Status As World’s Number One Air Polluter (2:03)
White House Press Secretary Spins Wife’s Tragic Death As A Positive (2:19)
Delicious Snacks Distract Congressmen From Horrors Of War (2:38)
Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys To Hospital (1:11)
In The Know: How Can We Make The War In Iraq More Eco-Friendly? (2:07)
Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early (2:43)
New Auto Security System Will Not Allow Car To Start If Driver Is Nick Nolte (1:14)
Nation Of Andorra Not In Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports (2:03)
Expert On Anteaters Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters (2:54)
Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently (1:45)
In The Know: New Iraqi Law Requires Waiting Period For Suicide Vest Purchases (2:15)
Ngyuen Thi Buch Thuy: 'Just Give Me The Damn Sepak Takraw Ball' (2:05)
Live From Congress: Representative Wants To Rid Congress Of Gang Members (1:57)
Mysterious Traveler Entrances Town With Utopian Vision Of The Future (1:41)
Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot (2:26)
As Obese Population Rises, More Candidates Courting The Fat Vote (1:18)
Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes (2:23)
Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations Of Tolerance (2:17)
In The Know: Are We Giving The Robots That Run Our Society Too Much Power? (2:09)
Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers (2:16)
Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters (2:21)
Controversial Tell-All Book Reveals Wrestling Fans Are Fake (2:17)
Queen Elizabeth II Will Leave Behind Long Legacy Of Waving (2:16)
International Scandal: Don Cheadle Planned Darfur Genocide To Create Film Role (2:09)
Our Troops Send Holiday Wishes For Peace, Goodwill, And Body Armor (1:39)
Should Animals Be Doing More For The Animal Rights Movement? (1:55)
Evangeline Lilly Wins 'Best Wet T-Shirt Fight Scene' At Strong Women In TV Awards (2:24)
Reporters Expose Airport Security Lapses By Blowing Up Plane (2:38)
Report: Nation’s Wealthy Cruelly Deprived Of True Meaning Of Christmas (1:49)
Mitt Romney Is Candidate Most Voters Want To Get Into Bar Fight With (2:26)
Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On (2:27)
Rep. Gary Nelson (R-CT) Introduces The Gary Nelson Personal Pay Raise Bill (2:39)
Americans Enjoying Thanksgiving Tradition Of Sitting Around At Airport (1:10)
How Can We Raise Awareness In Darfur Of How Much We're Doing For Them? (2:33)
Medical Miracle: Man Lives Thanks To Heart Stolen From Dead Man (3:06)
Messages From Our Troops To The Families They Can Barely Remember (1:13)
Christian Charity Raising Money To Feed Non-Gay Famine Victims (1:45)
Live From Congress: Representative Wants To See, Meet More Kids Online (2:08)
Preemptive Memorial Honors Future Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster (2:32)
In The Know: Is The Government Spying On Paranoid Schizophrenics Enough? (2:19)
Proposed (Classified) Bill Will Defend Against Flesh-Eating (Classified) (1:46)
Viewer Voices: Where We Respond To The Opinions Of Our Uninformed Viewers (1:53)
Country Music Stars Challenge Al-Qaeda With Patriotic New Song ‘Bomb New York’ (2:40)
In The Know: Situation In Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex (2:41)
African-American Boycott of L.L. Bean Enters 80th Year (2:07)
In The Know: White House Announces 'Everything Is Great In Iraf' (1:40)
Domestic Abuse No Longer A Problem, Say Bruised Female Researchers (1:08)
In The Know: Should Americans Return To A Simpler, Stone Age Lifestyle? (1:29)
'Students First In Line' Program To Offer Job Training At Needy Schools (1:37)
In The Know: Are America's Rich Falling Behind The Super-Rich? (2:42)
Missing Girl Probably Raped (2:33)
National Lost And Found: Did You Lose A Flag Of The Marshall Islands? (2:04)
Beyonce Unhurt After Stray Bullet Miraculously Hits Passerby Instead (1:27)
In The Know: Should We Be Shaming Obese Children More? (2:06)
Live From Congress: Rep. Hardy Calls For A Ladies' Night Out (1:22)
In The Know: Is Our Wealth Hurting Africa’s Feelings? (1:59)
Time Releases Annual List Of Least Influential Americans (2:36)
In The Know: Are Our Children Learning Enough About Whales? (2:17)
Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys (1:08)
U.S. Department Of Lost And Found: We Found Your Flip Flop (1:37)