1

Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature (2:13)

2

Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg (2:19)

3

New BabySafe Ball Makes Shaking Your Infant Guilt And Injury Free (2:57)

4

Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq (2:09)

5

Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee (2:29)

6

Autoworkers Compete to Keep Jobs, Livelihoods on New Reality Show (3:24)

7

Morning Show Host Starts Charity To Rid World Of Flying Debris (3:00)

8

Courageous Man Refuses To Believe He Has Cancer (2:41)

9

How To Wax Your Floors Without Slipping And Severing Your Spine (2:58)

10

Police Say School Shooter Had Troubled Past, History Of School Shootings (2:32)

11

Man Who Crossed Nation In Balloon Only Wants To Talk About Horse Abuse (2:38)

12

NASA Simulator Prepares Astronauts For Rigors Of An Interview With Larry King (3:03)

13

12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams (2:49)

14

Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Line Of Genetically Engineered Child Stars (2:32)

15

Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As It Looks On TV (2:37)

16

'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man (1:50)

17

Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelet' From Recipe That Came To Him In A Dream (2:46)

18

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency (2:49)

19

Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election (2:51)

20

Diet Book Author Advocates New 'No Food Diet' (3:20)

21

Age-Progression Technology Indicates Missing Child A Prostitute By Now (2:49)

22

Today Now! Host Tracy Gill Recommends New Tracy Gill Biography (2:16)

23

FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It’s Alyson Hannigan (2:53)

24

Expert On Anteaters Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters (2:54)

25

Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes (2:23)

26

Evangeline Lilly Wins 'Best Wet T-Shirt Fight Scene' At Strong Women In TV Awards (2:24)

27

Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On (2:27)

28

Medical Miracle: Man Lives Thanks To Heart Stolen From Dead Man (3:06)

29

The Onion News Network's Morning Show: Today Now! (1:45)