Amish Population Boom
"They almost had one more until I learned I couldn't take my dirt bike."
Maverick Hunter's 'Human Beings As Prey' Plan Not As Challenging As Expected
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Man With Apple Hovering In Front Of Face Sues René Magritte's Estate
TACOMA, WA—Michael Renfro, a 68-year-old retired CPA with an apple hovering in front of his face, announced Monday that he has filed a $15 million lawsuit against the estate of deceased...
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Area Boy Enters Jumping-And-Touching-Tops-Of-Doorways Phase
BROOKINGS, SD—Local 11-year-old Dylan Adams entered the stage in childhood development Wednesday in which a boy feels the uncontrollable desire to run, jump, and touch the top of every...
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Powerful 'His And Hers' Towel Lobby Stalls Gay Marriage Legislation
WASHINGTON—Gay rights activists protested the defeat of bill S. 743 Monday, saying that the proposed legislation giving homosexuals the right to marry was derailed by the National...
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Really-Loud-Whistle Guy Takes Every Opportunity To Whistle Loudly
AUSTIN, TX—Whether he's making his approval known during sporting events and rock concerts, or simply in a situation that requires him to get the attention of one or more persons,...
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Can't Go Wrong With A Cheeseburger, Area Man Reports
SCOTTSVILLE, NY—Unfamiliar with the menu at local restaurant Scully's and faced with the decision of what to order for lunch, diner Michael Cort, 25, made clear his belief...
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Man Given Points For Trying Increases Total Trying Points To 643,457
HIAWATHA, IA—After a failed attempt to surprise his family with a chili dinner Friday, Frank Hayden, 38, was given 16 points for trying by his wife, Laura, thereby increasing his running...
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Special Ops Veteran Slips Back Into Family Undetected
ORLANDO, FL—After spending six years overseas as a covert operations specialist, Joe Jacobs slipped silently back into his family unit Tuesday, reappearing inside his home's dining room as...
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Friends From Home Embarrassing
BROOKLYN, NY—After taking a group of visiting hometown friends out with the circle of friends he has made since moving to New York from Hingham, MA three years ago, 25-year-old...
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