On the 2009 U.S. Open | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

At the AV Club: Stephin Merritt

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tennis

Thursday, September 3, 2009

On the 2009 U.S. Open

"They've gotta move that thing away from where the Mets play. They just tried to put Rafael Nadal on the DL."

"Tennis needs its Michael Jordan. Well, I guess what I'm saying is, I'd watch it if Michael Jordan played."

"The other night, half the bar was in Clijsters skirts. The other half in Kutuzova skirts. It was nuts, man. Total mayhem."

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