News In Brief

U.S. To Slow Down Relationship With Uruguay

issue 3724 | 07.18.01 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC–Explaining that it is still a relatively young nation and not ready for a permanent trade partner, the U.S. announced Monday that it... more»
300 Naked Women Feared Lost In Computer Crash

issue 3724 | 07.18.01 | News In Brief

ELLICOTT CITY, MD–An estimated 300 naked women, including actresses Pamela Anderson and Shannon Elizabeth, are feared lost as the result of a... more»
Robbie Krieger Goes 51 Minutes Without Mentioning Jim Morrison

issue 3723 | 06.20.01 | News In Brief

LOS ANGELES–In his longest-such stretch since 1982, Doors guitarist Robbie Krieger went 51 minutes Monday without mentioning former bandmate Jim... more»
Nepotism Passed Off As Synergy

issue 3723 | 06.20.01 | News In Brief

WHITEHOUSE STATION, NJ–The hiring of Adam Dwyer by Merck Pharmaceutical was described Monday by CEO James Dwyer as "tremendously synergistic."... more»
Video Store's 'Favorites' Shelf Offers Telling Glimpse Into Manager's Psyche

issue 3723 | 06.20.01 | News In Brief

ITHACA, NY–The "Favorites" shelf at King Street Video offers insight into the psyche of store manager Bruce Gannon, psychiatrists concurred Monday.... more»
Resident Of Three Years Decries Neighborhood's Recent Gentrification

issue 3723 | 06.20.01 | News In Brief

CHICAGO–Bruce Smales, a three-year resident of Chicago's Wicker Park neighborhood, lashed out Monday against encroaching gentrification. "See that... more»
Bush Trying To Decide How To Spend His Tax Refund

issue 3723 | 06.20.01 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC–Four days after signing a $1.35 trillion tax-cut bill, George W. Bush spent Monday trying to decide how he will spend his $300... more»
Vatican Declares Hours Between 3 A.M., 5:30 A.M. 'Ungodly'

issue 3722 | 06.13.01 | News In Brief

VATICAN CITY–In the first papal edict against a time of day since 1560, Pope John Paul II declared the two-and-a-half-hour interval between 3 a.m.... more»
Astronomers Admit They Made Neptune Up

issue 3722 | 06.13.01 | News In Brief

LONDON–An elaborate, 155-year-old hoax was revealed Monday, when the Royal Astronomical Society confessed that the planet Neptune does not exist.... more»
Partygoer Vows To Fix Keg

issue 3722 | 06.13.01 | News In Brief

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA–Insisting that calling the liquor store for assistance is "totally unnecessary," University of Virginia sophomore and... more»

The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.

Meet Other Onion Readers

more personals »

At the AV Club: Stephin Merritt

U.S. To Slow Down Relationship With Uruguay

300 Naked Women Feared Lost In Computer Crash

Robbie Krieger Goes 51 Minutes Without Mentioning Jim Morrison

Nepotism Passed Off As Synergy

Video Store's 'Favorites' Shelf Offers Telling Glimpse Into Manager's Psyche

Resident Of Three Years Decries Neighborhood's Recent Gentrification

Bush Trying To Decide How To Spend His Tax Refund

Vatican Declares Hours Between 3 A.M., 5:30 A.M. 'Ungodly'

Astronomers Admit They Made Neptune Up

Partygoer Vows To Fix Keg

Onion Store

Onion Stories on Twitter

Featured Section »

Local

From Our News Partners

The OnionConnect

Site Links

Subscriptions, RSS, Mobile, Etc.

Email Dispatch

Meet Other Onion Readers

At the AV Club: Stephin Merritt GA_googleFillSlot("100x12_avfocus");

From Our News Partners

The OnionConnect

Site Links

Email Dispatch

At the AV Club: Stephin Merritt