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• Earliest American Scat Found

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• Local Bar Comes Out As Gay

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• MLB Pickpocket Suspected In Series Of Stolen Batting Gloves

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• Report: Olympics Mathematically Likely To Happen This Year

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• High School Team Denies Winning For Dead Teammate

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• Baseball Swing So Bad It Makes Joe Morgan Vomit

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• New NFL Rule Will Force Players To Have One Of Three Appropriate Haircuts

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• Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda

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• Number Of Acceptable Things Candidates Can Say Now Down To Four

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• Peanut Allergies May Be Cured

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