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At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

This Would Be The Best Mental Hospital Ever If Elliott Gould Weren't Hiding In The Toilet

issue 4547 | 11.19.09 | Commentary

I've been a patient at the Sunhaven Mental Health Center for about six months now, and I honestly can't say enough about what a fantastic... more»
I'm So Blessed To Be Surrounded By People I Can Extort Money From

issue 4546 | 11.12.09 | Commentary

Everyone goes through a hard patch at some point. Even if you watch every penny, all it takes is an unexpected layoff or a sudden medical... more»
Excuse Me, But I'll Be Handling The Gentleman's Discourse For The Rest Of The Evening

issue 4546 | 11.10.09 | Commentary

Ah, pardon me, milady. May I have a word? I trust you're enjoying tonight's festivities? I should say I am. Nothing stirs the blood quite like... more»
If I'm So Crazy, Then Why Do People Keep Having Sex With Me?

issue 4545 | 11.03.09 | Commentary

You know, I'm getting really sick of this. I am a perfectly normal, fully functioning adult, and yet it seems like every other day someone... more»
In This Economy, It Would Be Crazy To Run Out And Expose Yourself To Your Son's Soccer Team

issue 4544 | 10.27.09 | Commentary

Ladies and gentlemen, it's rough out there. I don't need to tell you that. A lot of folks have seen their savings go up in smoke the last... more»
A Little Birdie Told Me You Had A Miscarriage

issue 4543 | 10.22.09 | Commentary

Oh my goodness, it's been ages since I've seen you. Don't you look adorable! There's definitely something different about you. Have you lost... more»
People Are Always Coming To Me With My Problems

issue 4543 | 10.20.09 | Commentary

You ever hear of someone having a "kind face?" Well, I don't know if it's that or something else about me, but it seems as though every time... more»
Aw, Who Am I Kidding? I'm No Match For Stains

issue 4542 | 10.15.09 | Commentary

For more than 60 years, I have been recognized far and wide as America's foremost stain-fighter. I'm sure you've all heard the ad copy: Tide... more»
If God Had Wanted Me To Be Accepting Of Gays, He Would Have Given Me The Warmth And Compassion To Do So

issue 4542 | 10.13.09 | Commentary

I don't question God. The Lord is my Shepherd and I shall put none above Him. Which is why I know that if it were part of God's plan for me... more»
My Mistress Makes The Best Potato Salad

issue 4541 | 10.08.09 | Commentary

There's nothing I enjoy more than the creamy, tangy taste of a homemade potato salad. "Heaven in a Bowl," I like to call it. I've been a fool... more»