Commentary

American Children Like Me Are Lazy And Insolent And Must Try Harder

issue 4530 | 07.20.09 | Commentary

Hello, reader! I am a young boy from the United States named Jimmy McDonalds, and like most other American children such as me it seems there... more»

My New Saga Is Totally Like Yngvar's Saga Meets Gautek's Saga

issue 4529 | 07.16.09 | Commentary

Hearken! Fair was the morning and bright the day when I first noticed that the saga of Gylfy Halfdane—that's me, Gylfy, "The Gylf" to... more»

Oh, Dear God, What Are You People Doing To Me?

issue 4529 | 07.14.09 | Commentary

Damnable fate! What is this horrid anguish that fills my being? Not an hour ago I was finely formed, a measure shaped from noble intent. But... more»

I Guess I'm Sort Of Like The 'Dad' Of This Family

issue 4530 | 07.07.09 | Commentary

Man, do I get a kick out of these kids. Take Scott, for instance. He's got one hell of a throwing arm. Burns 'em right into the glove.... more»

This Space Camp Looks A Lot Like Fat Camp

issue 4524 | 06.11.09 | Commentary

Wow. I can't believe I'm really here. When I told my parents that I wanted to go to space camp, I never thought they'd actually agree.... more»

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

issue 4524 | 06.09.09 | Commentary

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well,... more»

The Jewish People Have Endured So Much, What I'm Going To Put Them Through Is Nothing

issue 4523 | 06.04.09 | Commentary

It's hard not to be moved when you think about the plight of the Jewish people and all that they've been through. No other faith has shown... more»

Kids, Come Look At This Dreadlock From My College Days

issue 4523 | 06.02.09 | Commentary

Hey, kids, look what I found! It was in an old trunk up in the attic, tucked away in a Ziploc bag under my Jane's Addiction T-shirt. Can you... more»

Oh, No! It's Making Well-Reasoned Arguments Backed With Facts! Run!

issue 4522 | 05.28.09 | Commentary

I…I think it's finally over. Our reactionary emotional response seems to have stopped it dead in its tracks. If I'm right, all we have to... more»

You Should Come Out To The Country House This Weekend And Envy My Family's Extreme Wealth

issue 4522 | 05.26.09 | Commentary

If you don't have any plans for the big weekend coming up, I've got a fantastic idea: Why don't you come join my family and me at our... more»

At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

American Children Like Me Are Lazy And Insolent And Must Try Harder

My New Saga Is Totally Like Yngvar's Saga Meets Gautek's Saga

Oh, Dear God, What Are You People Doing To Me?

I Guess I'm Sort Of Like The 'Dad' Of This Family

This Space Camp Looks A Lot Like Fat Camp

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

The Jewish People Have Endured So Much, What I'm Going To Put Them Through Is Nothing

Kids, Come Look At This Dreadlock From My College Days

Oh, No! It's Making Well-Reasoned Arguments Backed With Facts! Run!

You Should Come Out To The Country House This Weekend And Envy My Family's Extreme Wealth

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