Commentary

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At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

I Have Completed Stage One Of Our Plan To Take Over The World

issue 4502 | 01.07.09 | Commentary

Bur #318 reporting: Primary objectives have been met. Ready Parent Organism Beta 51.2-6 for execution of Stage Two. I repeat: Stage... more»
At This Point In The Plan, The Mice Will Be Very Surprised

issue 4450 | 12.10.08 | Commentary

They will be surprised, that much is certain. Every precaution has been taken to ensure it. The mice, they will not see it... more»
It's Okay, I'm Attractive

issue 4450 | 12.10.08 | Commentary

No need to worry, I'm here now. I realize you may have had some concerns before as to whether I should be given my way, but please,... more»
Why Don't They Make A Second 'Godfather' Movie?

issue 4449 | 12.03.08 | Commentary

As a bona fide movie buff, it pains me to see the drivel that Hollywood churns out nowadays. Every week it's another lamebrained action flick... more»
I'm Really Gonna Miss Systematically Destroying This Place

issue 4449 | 12.01.08 | Commentary

Oh, America. Eight years went by so fast, didn't they? I feel like I hardly got to know you and methodically undermine everything you once... more»
Well, That Sunset Sucked

issue 4448 | 11.26.08 | Commentary

For our 10th anniversary, I wanted to pull off a grand romantic gesture that would remind my wife that she's more than my friend—she's... more»
I'm Not One Of Those 'Love Thy Neighbor' Christians

issue 4447 | 11.19.08 | Commentary

Everybody has this image of "crazy Christians" based on what they hear in the media, but it's just not true. Most Christians are normal,... more»
If Only Someone Had Written A Song Describing The Bittersweet, Cyclical Nature Of The Father-Son Relationship

issue 4447 | 11.19.08 | Commentary

Over the years, music has covered a wide range of human emotions. But one aspect of the human condition that has never been evoked by a... more»
I Bet My 40s Are Totally Going To Rock

issue 4446 | 11.12.08 | Commentary

You know what I'm really excited about? Turning 40! The Big Four-Oh. I've got one hell of a landmark birthday coming up, and I'm pumped! I... more»
As An Older World's Strongest Man, There Are Certain Trucks I Can't Pull Anymore

issue 4445 | 11.06.08 | Commentary

Aging is tough. The hardest part for me has been coming to grips with the fact that some of the physical abilities I took for granted when I... more»