Commentary

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At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

Blind People Are Faking It

issue 3006 | 09.18.96 | Commentary

Citizens, hear us well. Our great nation is being undermined by a secret society of individuals who carry deadly white truncheons and lead vicious... more»
I'm Sorry, Jesus

issue 3006 | 09.18.96 | Commentary

Oh, Jesus, Lord in Heaven, I am sorry for the many sins that I have committed. I will try to do better in the future and will work to be an... more»
This Casual Day Thing Has Gone Too Far

issue 3005 | 09.11.96 | Commentary

Look, I'm as fun-loving as the next guy. After work I like to loosen up my tie, unbutton my collar and relax with a couple fingers of sourmash... more»
Burt Reynolds Lives Like a Princess

issue 3005 | 09.11.96 | Commentary

I've interviewed scores of Hollywood stars, but I never took them at anything more than face value, especially Burt Reynolds. I never guessed the... more»
My Hot Dog Cart Is Undermanned

issue 3004 | 09.04.96 | Commentary

All the time, I catch people bellyachin' about the economy and how they're having trouble finding a job. Well you can bet I give them an earful, and... more»
The Joy of Sales

issue 3004 | 09.04.96 | Commentary

First of all, I can see you're all busy folks and the last thing you need is to waste time listening to a load of you-know-what, so let's get one... more»
The Island of Doctors and Monsters Is Not a Very Good Movie

issue 3003 | 08.28.96 | Commentary

Ah, the movies. The lights. The glamour. The action! Where else can a person escape to see the stars for the price of a good shave at the corner... more»
It Sounded Fancy, So I Ate It

issue 3003 | 08.28.96 | Commentary

The other day Judy the wife was yappin' that I never do anything with her, so I agreed to go to the big tasting party she was having for the French... more»
Somebody Should Do Something About All the Problems

issue 3002 | 08.21.96 | Commentary

Why isn't anyone doing anything about all the problems? We're living in a time with super computers and underwater sea stations and million-dollar... more»
I Can Help the Next Person Here

issue 3001 | 08.07.96 | Commentary

There's no waiting at register three. Wheel your cart right over! I can help the next person. Any number of items! more»