Horoscopes

At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

Horoscope for the week of September 11, 1996

issue 3005 | 09.11.96 | Horoscopes

A freak explosion aboard a Florida fishing boat leaves you with the proportional strength and speed of the tarpon. more»
Horoscope for the week of September 4, 1996

issue 3004 | 09.04.96 | Horoscopes

It’s been a rough week for everyone at your workplace. Try to lighten everyone’s burden a little with a friendly exchange of hostages. more»
Horoscope for the week of August 28, 1996

issue 3003 | 08.28.96 | Horoscopes

The stars indicate that it's time to lose the love handles. Sew yourself into a bag with a dozen starving ferrets. more»
Horoscope for the week of August 21, 1996

issue 3002 | 08.21.96 | Horoscopes

The stars indicate that it’s time to lose the love handles. Sew yourself into a bag with a dozen starving ferrets. more»
Horoscope for the week of August 7, 1996

issue 3001 | 08.07.96 | Horoscopes

Avoid the trap of becoming known to your coworkers as the one who tattles to the boss. Instead, become known as the one with the mallet who kills... more»