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Comedy Tonight!

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 01:00:41 -0500

I'm still not sure what possessed me to walk into Laughingstock's Comedy Club and sign up for their open-mic night. But I guess sometimes the less...

It's Not Too Late To Join Jeansperience '07!

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 02:00:00 -0400

Finally, after weeks and weeks of wishing and hoping and planning and dreaming, Jeansperience '07 is happening this Saturday! Needless to say, I'm...

Not One Of Those People

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:42:07 -0500

Many people believe that being a notable public figure puts you above reproach or suspicion. Not true, says your old pal Jean. How do I know this?...

Fabulous Trash

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 15:09:15 -0400

Hmm...let's see how I'm doing on the New Year's resolutions so far:Well, I'm proud to say that I've stayed true and haven't had a...

How Very Special

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 15:16:43 -0500

I don't have to tell you Jeanketeers that Christmas is just around the corner, which means it's time for—you got it—TV Christmas...

Jean Teasdale

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 14:42:12 -0400

Jean Teasdale has been The Onion's resident humor and human-interest columnist since 1987. She has been married to tire technician Richard...

Shop Worn

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 16:00:00 -0400

As I write this, I'm at Tacky's Tavern polishing off my third Long Island iced tea. (Nope, don't adjust your volume—you heard me right!) Now, normally, I believe the best highs come from life itself. But today, your old pal Jean requires a drinky-poo the size of an aqualung! (Actually, I prefer Brandy Alexanders to Long Islands, but Tacky's doesn't make them.)

Snowball In Hell

Wed, 25 May 2005 16:00:00 -0400

If you're considering starting your own business, keep a few things in mind. First, you can't call in sick, and you may have to work very long hours, even if no customers show up for the entire day. Second, be prepared for weeks, or even months, to go by before you clear $50 a week in sales. Third, consider that you may have to rethink your business plan, even though you devoted a whole month to creating it.

Getting Our Jollies

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 16:00:00 -0500

I've gotta say, I feel really sorry for all the so-called "professionals"—the working stiffs and stiffettes of the world. Sure, they're making a lot of money being lawyers and brokers, but are they truly happy? Last Monday morning, as I watched the Lexuses and BMWs cruise down Thisbe Avenue headed toward the interstate, I couldn't help feeling sorry for all those strivers.

Christmas In February

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 16:00:00 -0500

Guess what, Jeanketeers? There are new sounds coming from the residence of Mr. and Mrs. Rick Teasdale! No, it's not the patter of little feet, it's the whirrrr of motorized-scooter wheels! Yep, you heard it here first: My long-lost father Horvel is staying with us!