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Feb 20, 2008 | Issue 44•08
I'm still not sure what possessed me to walk into Laughingstock's Comedy Club and sign up for their open-mic night. But I guess sometimes the less...
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Sep 12, 2007 | Issue 43•37
Finally, after weeks and weeks of wishing and hoping and planning and dreaming, Jeansperience '07 is happening this Saturday! Needless to say, I'm...
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Nov 28, 2006 | Issue 42•48
Many people believe that being a notable public figure puts you above reproach or suspicion. Not true, says your old pal Jean. How do I know this?...
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Apr 26, 2006 | Issue 42•17
Hmm...let's see how I'm doing on the New Year's resolutions so far:
Well, I'm proud to say that I've stayed true and haven't had a...
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Dec 21, 2005 | Issue 41•51
I don't have to tell you Jeanketeers that Christmas is just around the corner, which means it's time for—you got it—TV Christmas...
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Aug 11, 2005 | Issue
Jean Teasdale has been The Onion's resident humor and human-interest columnist since 1987. She has been married to tire technician Richard...
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Jul 27, 2005 | Issue 41•30
As I write this, I'm at Tacky's Tavern polishing off my third Long Island iced tea. (Nope, don't adjust your volume—you heard me right!) Now, normally, I believe the best highs come from life itself. But today, your old pal Jean requires a drinky-poo the size of an aqualung! (Actually, I prefer Brandy Alexanders to Long Islands, but Tacky's doesn't make them.)
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May 25, 2005 | Issue 41•21
If you're considering starting your own business, keep a few things in mind. First, you can't call in sick, and you may have to work very long hours, even if no customers show up for the entire day. Second, be prepared for weeks, or even months, to go by before you clear $50 a week in sales. Third, consider that you may have to rethink your business plan, even though you devoted a whole month to creating it.
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Mar 30, 2005 | Issue 41•13
I've gotta say, I feel really sorry for all the so-called "professionals"—the working stiffs and stiffettes of the world. Sure, they're making a lot of money being lawyers and brokers, but are they truly happy? Last Monday morning, as I watched the Lexuses and BMWs cruise down Thisbe Avenue headed toward the interstate, I couldn't help feeling sorry for all those strivers.
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Feb 16, 2005 | Issue 41•07
Guess what, Jeanketeers? There are new sounds coming from the residence of Mr. and Mrs. Rick Teasdale! No, it's not the patter of little feet, it's the whirrrr of motorized-scooter wheels! Yep, you heard it here first: My long-lost father Horvel is staying with us!
