<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<rss version="2.0" xml:base="http://www.theonion.com/content" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">
<channel>
 <title>The Onion - America&#039;s Finest News Source - </title>
 <link>http://www.theonion.com/content/topics/News_In_Brief/feed</link>
 <description></description>
 <language>en-us</language>
<item>
 <title>Giuliani Spotted Sleeping On New York City Subway</title>
 <link>http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/giuliani_spotted_sleeping?utm_source=from_tag</link>
 <description>Giuliani, once a beloved New York figure who earned the nickname &quot;America&#039;s Mayor,&quot; was wearing a faded New York Yankees jacket and a dirty FDNY...</description>
 <pubDate>Fri, 20 Jun 2008 10:00:19 -0400</pubDate>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Politics">Politics</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/News_In_Brief">News_In_Brief</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Rudy_Giuliani">Rudy_Giuliani</category>
 <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81461</guid>
</item>
<item>
 <title>Area Man Puts On Some Nice Pants For Once In His Life</title>
 <link>http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/area_man_puts_on_some_nice?utm_source=from_tag</link>
 <description>OAKLAND, CA&amp;mdash;Hallelujah, what do you know&amp;mdash;reports have surfaced that Michael Bohlke put on a nice pair of pants for once in his 28 years...</description>
 <pubDate>Thu, 19 Jun 2008 10:00:11 -0400</pubDate>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Human-Interest">Human-Interest</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Self-Improvement">Self-Improvement</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/News_In_Brief">News_In_Brief</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Local">Local</category>
 <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81453</guid>
</item>
<item>
 <title>New VH1 Show Canceled For Not Being Pathetic Enough</title>
 <link>http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/new_vh1_show_canceled_for?utm_source=from_tag</link>
 <description>NEW YORK&amp;mdash;In a press release Tuesday, Viacom executives announced their newest hour-long VH1 Celebreality program, &lt;i&gt;Knight Life&lt;/i&gt;, with...</description>
 <pubDate>Wed, 18 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0400</pubDate>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Entertainment">Entertainment</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/News_In_Brief">News_In_Brief</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Music">Music</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/TV">TV</category>
 <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81411</guid>
</item>
<item>
 <title>Friends From Home Embarrassing</title>
 <link>http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/friends_from_home?utm_source=from_tag</link>
 <description>BROOKLYN, NY&amp;mdash;After taking a group of visiting hometown friends out with the circle of friends he has made since moving to New York from...</description>
 <pubDate>Tue, 17 Jun 2008 10:00:48 -0400</pubDate>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/People">People</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/News_In_Brief">News_In_Brief</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/friendship">friendship</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/college">college</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Teens">Teens</category>
 <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81361</guid>
</item>
<item>
 <title>Grandmother Proud To Have Lived Long Enough To See First Viable Female Candidate Torn Apart</title>
 <link>http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/grandmother_proud_to_have?utm_source=from_tag</link>
 <description>PEORIA, IL&amp;mdash;Seventy-six-year-old grandmother Anita Graney told reporters Monday that she was &quot;overwhelmed with pride&quot; for having lived to see...</description>
 <pubDate>Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:00:45 -0400</pubDate>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Elderly">Elderly</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/senior_citizens">senior_citizens</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/elections">elections</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Presidents">Presidents</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/women">women</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/News_In_Brief">News_In_Brief</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Politics">Politics</category>
 <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81321</guid>
</item>
<item>
 <title>Cricket Located</title>
 <link>http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/cricket_located?utm_source=from_tag</link>
 <description>IRWIN, PA&amp;mdash;In a feat of extraordinary patience, auditory precision, and monklike concentration, 42-year-old Pat Baer interrupted his favorite TV...</description>
 <pubDate>Fri, 13 Jun 2008 10:00:59 -0400</pubDate>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/News_In_Brief">News_In_Brief</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Rural">Rural</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/animals">animals</category>
 <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81058</guid>
</item>
<item>
 <title>National Essay Writing Contest Now Accepting Video Submissions</title>
 <link>http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/national_essay_writing?utm_source=from_tag</link>
 <description>NEW YORK&amp;mdash;Citing a stark decrease in written submissions since 1994, representatives of the Michel de Montaigne National Essay Writing Contest...</description>
 <pubDate>Thu, 12 Jun 2008 11:00:17 -0400</pubDate>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Science_%2526_Technology">Science_&amp;_Technology</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/News_In_Brief">News_In_Brief</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/computers">computers</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Internet">Internet</category>
 <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81053</guid>
</item>
<item>
 <title>Man Fishes For Legendary, Elusive Compliment</title>
 <link>http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/man_fishes_for_legendary?utm_source=from_tag</link>
 <description>SYRACUSE, NY&amp;mdash;Junior sales associate James Kilmartin, 32, announced Monday that he is prepared to angle for the oft-fabled,...</description>
 <pubDate>Wed, 11 Jun 2008 10:00:09 -0400</pubDate>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Workplace">Workplace</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/News_In_Brief">News_In_Brief</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/relationships">relationships</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/jobs">jobs</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/coworkers">coworkers</category>
 <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81030</guid>
</item>
<item>
 <title>TV Viewers Outraged At Timing Of Commercial Break</title>
 <link>http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/tv_viewers_outraged_at?utm_source=from_tag</link>
 <description>LOS ANGELES&amp;mdash;A coalition of more than 20 million television viewers issued a strongly worded statement Monday expressing outrage at the...</description>
 <pubDate>Tue, 10 Jun 2008 10:00:55 -0400</pubDate>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Entertainment">Entertainment</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/News_In_Brief">News_In_Brief</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Television">Television</category>
 <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theonion.com/content/node/81011</guid>
</item>
<item>
 <title>Researchers Discover Details Smaller Than Minutiae</title>
 <link>http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/researchers_discover?utm_source=from_tag</link>
 <description>PASADENA, CA&amp;mdash;A team of Caltech scientists announced Monday that they have discovered a type of conversational detail smaller than minutiae, the...</description>
 <pubDate>Mon, 09 Jun 2008 01:00:55 -0400</pubDate>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/education">education</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/News_In_Brief">News_In_Brief</category>
 <category domain="http://www.theonion.com/content/taxonomy/tag/Science_%2526_Technology">Science_&amp;_Technology</category>
 <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theonion.com/content/node/80952</guid>
</item>
</channel>
</rss>
