News In Brief

Rookie Cop Laying On The Jargon A Little Thick

issue 3536 | 10.06.99 | News In Brief

CHICAGO—Four days after joining the Chicago Police Department, Officer Patrick Finley of the 18th Precinct is laying on the jargon a little thick,... more»
Cher's 'Believe' Now Faintly Audible Everywhere In America

issue 3536 | 10.06.99 | News In Brief

GREAT SALT LAKE DESERT, UT—Building upon its presence in every health club, supermarket, bank, clothing store and waiting room in the U.S., Cher's... more»
Exercise Briefly Considered

issue 3535 | 09.29.99 | News In Brief

GERMANTOWN, TN—The notion of aerobic exercise fleetingly crossed the mind of Memphis-area office manager Theodore Sperling Monday. "There was half... more»
Doctors Say Pope Will Be Infallible For Another Year At Most

issue 3535 | 09.29.99 | News In Brief

VATICAN CITY— According to papal physicians, 79-year-old Pope John Paul II, the infallible Earthly vicar of Christ, will likely become fallible... more»
Area Woman Not About To Miss Ally McBeal For That

issue 3535 | 09.29.99 | News In Brief

ROCHESTER, NY—At approximately 10 p.m. Thursday, 41-year-old Rochester resident Connie Smoller informed her husband Patrick that she isn't about to... more»
Congress Discontinues Festival Seating After Insurance-Deregulation-Bill Stampede

issue 3535 | 09.29.99 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—Reacting to the Sept. 7 stampede in which 18 members of the House of Representatives were trampled to death in a mad dash to get... more»
Burned-Out Coffee-Shop Employee Just Lets Paul Simon Play For Fifth Time

issue 3535 | 09.29.99 | News In Brief

PORTLAND, OR—Exhausted and beyond the point of caring what music she listens to while working, 22-year-old Espresso Royale Cafe employee Jennifer... more»
Hot-Rod-Lincoln-Driving Son May Have Contributed To Father's Alcoholism

issue 3534 | 09.22.99 | News In Brief

SAN PEDRO, CA—William Conroy, a 43-year-old San Pedro-area pappy, was driven to alcoholism by his 17-year-old son's reckless Hot Rod Lincoln... more»
Greenpeace Decides Northern Spotted Owl 'Not Worth The Trouble Anymore'

issue 3534 | 09.22.99 | News In Brief

AMSTERDAM—Citing "organization-wide disinterest in a truly mundane species of bird," Greenpeace announced Monday that it is ending its decades-long... more»
Tape Dispensed

issue 3534 | 09.22.99 | News In Brief

PULASKI, TN—A two-inch stretch of 3M Scotch™ adhesive tape was dispensed Monday by a Swingline™ tape dispenser. "I am impressed beyond... more»

At the AV Club: Stephin Merritt

Rookie Cop Laying On The Jargon A Little Thick

Cher's 'Believe' Now Faintly Audible Everywhere In America

Exercise Briefly Considered

Doctors Say Pope Will Be Infallible For Another Year At Most

Area Woman Not About To Miss Ally McBeal For That

Congress Discontinues Festival Seating After Insurance-Deregulation-Bill Stampede

Burned-Out Coffee-Shop Employee Just Lets Paul Simon Play For Fifth Time

Hot-Rod-Lincoln-Driving Son May Have Contributed To Father's Alcoholism

Greenpeace Decides Northern Spotted Owl 'Not Worth The Trouble Anymore'

Tape Dispensed

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