News In Brief

None Of Area Man's Friends Have Ever Seen Him With Shirt On

issue 4538 | 09.14.09 | News In Brief

WHEELING, WV—Saying they don't know why it never occurred to them before, friends of local man Paul Helton told reporters Sunday that... more»
University Of Illinois Researchers Find Link Between Attending University Of Illinois, Receiving Solid Education At Great Price

issue 4537 | 09.11.09 | News In Brief

URBANA, IL—According to a new study conducted by researchers at the University of Illinois, there is a strong correlation between... more»
Latest Department Of Interior River Count Comes Up One Short

issue 4537 | 09.10.09 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON—Officials at the Department of the Interior scrambled this week when their annual tally of the nation's rivers repeatedly came... more»
Man Abuses Child Quietly Out Of Respect for Other Diners

issue 4537 | 09.09.09 | News In Brief

FORT SMITH, AR—Hoping to avoid rudely interrupting the meals of nearly two dozen other patrons, James Larson lowered his voice while... more»
Teacher Wishes She Could Inspire One Of The More Popular Students

issue 4537 | 09.08.09 | News In Brief

GRESHAM, OR—After spending half an hour Monday instilling much-needed confidence in one of her most timid freshmen, Sam Barlow High... more»
White Sufficiency Movement Asserts Whites Right Up There With Other Races

issue 4537 | 09.07.09 | News In Brief

EVANSVILLE, KY—Members of the Somewhat Aryan Nation, the country's most outspoken white sufficiency group, held a rally Tuesday night... more»
Yamaha CEO Pleased With Current Production Of Jet Skis, Alto Saxophones, Snowmobiles, Power Generators, Scooters, Golf Carts

issue 4536 | 09.04.09 | News In Brief

HAMAMATSU, JAPAN—Despite concerns over the recent global recession, Yamaha Corporation president Mitsuru Umemura announced last week that... more»
Walletless Biden Found Handcuffed To Bedpost

issue 4536 | 09.03.09 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON—According to an incident report filed by the Secret Service, special agents responded early Wednesday morning to a distress... more»
Pack Of Harpies Ordered Their Crostini Literally 20 Minutes Ago

issue 4536 | 09.02.09 | News In Brief

WILMINGTON, DE—According to sources at local restaurant Deep Blue, a table of four harpies perched near the window emitted shrill,... more»
New College Freshman Refers To Dorm By Actual Name

issue 4536 | 09.01.09 | News In Brief

NEWARK, DE—University of Delaware freshman Jared Kramer was overheard referring to dormitory Wolfington-Packard Hall by its full name... more»

At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

None Of Area Man's Friends Have Ever Seen Him With Shirt On

University Of Illinois Researchers Find Link Between Attending University Of Illinois, Receiving Solid Education At Great Price

Latest Department Of Interior River Count Comes Up One Short

Man Abuses Child Quietly Out Of Respect for Other Diners

Teacher Wishes She Could Inspire One Of The More Popular Students

White Sufficiency Movement Asserts Whites Right Up There With Other Races

Yamaha CEO Pleased With Current Production Of Jet Skis, Alto Saxophones, Snowmobiles, Power Generators, Scooters, Golf Carts

Walletless Biden Found Handcuffed To Bedpost

Pack Of Harpies Ordered Their Crostini Literally 20 Minutes Ago

New College Freshman Refers To Dorm By Actual Name

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At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s