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At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

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Nation Demands Fresh Celebrity Meat

issue 4540 | 09.29.09 | News

HOLLYWOOD, CA—""We can no longer subsist on Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears," read a statement from Citizens for Renewed Celebrity... more»
Pepsi To Cease Advertising

issue 4540 | 09.28.09 | News

PURCHASE, NY—PepsiCo sent shockwaves through the carbonated beverage industry Monday when the multibillion dollar corporation announced that... more»
Cat Congress Mired In Sunbeam

issue 4539 | 09.25.09 | News

WASHINGTON—"We've come up against an unforeseen circumstance, but we'll resume deliberation and voting as quickly as is reasonably possible,"... more»
Sexy Career Woman To Take Hot Bath After Stressful Day

issue 4539 | 09.25.09 | News

NEW YORK—Following a particularly stressful day at her high-powered job, sultry career woman Jessica Barrett, 34, announced Tuesday she would... more»
Nadir Of Western Civilization To Be Reached This Friday At 3:32 P.M.

issue 4539 | 09.22.09 | News

WASHINGTON—"From the prehistoric Lascaux cave paintings to the stirring symphonies of Mozart to today's hot-dog eating competitions and action... more»
George W. Bush Chuckles To Self Upon Thinking About How He Was President Of The United States For Almost A Decade

issue 4539 | 09.21.09 | News

DALLAS—"Huh," uttered the amused former world leader, reflecting upon how for eight years he controlled the executive branch of the most... more»
Job Became Completely Humiliating So Gradually Area Man Barely Noticed

issue 4538 | 09.19.09 | News

CHICAGO—"Now that I think about it, a lot of little things have sort of slowly added up, like when they reduced my lunch hour to 30 minutes... more»
Melting Ice Caps Expose Hundreds Of Secret Arctic Lairs

issue 4538 | 09.18.09 | News

ZACKENBERG RESEARCH STATION, GREENLAND—According to oceanographers, the Arctic Circle has been devastated by the effects of global warming... more»
U.S. Government Finds $20 Trillion Buried By Absentminded Reagan In 1987

issue 4538 | 09.15.09 | News

WASHINGTON—While senior officials were initially unsure of where the hoard of valuables had come from, a number of clues—most notably a... more»
Outrageous Pictionary Drawing To Go Down In Area Family Lore

issue 4538 | 09.14.09 | News

IONIA, MI—At the time, no one predicted the dramatic finish that many now expect will be permanently chronicled in the annals of Anderson... more»

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