Senior Citizens

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At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

50-Year-Old Prince Licks AARP Representative's Face

issue 4425 | 06.18.08 | News In Photos
Grandmother Proud To Have Lived Long Enough To See First Viable Female Candidate Torn Apart

issue 4425 | 06.16.08 | News In Brief

PEORIA, IL—Seventy-six-year-old grandmother Anita Graney told reporters Monday that she was "overwhelmed with pride" for having lived to see... more»
Area Grandmother Tries Indian Food

issue 4424 | 06.14.08 | News

BLOOMINGTON, MN—Witnesses report Eileen Rutherford, 78, was overwhelmed by the unusual aromas but appeared delighted when a recognizable pea... more»
Grandfathers Accidentally Switched At Hospital

issue 4415 | 04.12.08 | News

LOS ANGELES—Hospital officials informed Janice Redding that the man her family knew as "Grandpa" for the past half-year actually belonged to... more»
Area Senior Remembers A Simpler Time When His Anus Didn't Leak

issue 4405 | 02.02.08 | News

CARSON CITY, NV—Once, movies were a quarter, soda pop only cost a nickel, and Hank Fletcher's sphincter was strong enough to expand and... more»
Only Positive Statistic Of Year Announced

issue 4350 | 12.13.07 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON—Amid a growing list of domestic and international concerns such as skyrocketing fuel prices, the slumping dollar, massive... more»
Google Launches 'The Google' For Older Adults

issue 4339 | 09.26.07 | News In Brief

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The popular search engine Google announced plans Friday to launch a new site, TheGoogle.com, to appeal to older adults... more»
Nation Suddenly Feels Old After Seeing Nick-At-Nite Lineup

issue 4337 | 09.11.07 | News In Brief

SCHAUMBURG, IL—The American people were thrust into a profound existential crisis Sunday after noticing that... more»
From The Beaches Of Normandy To The Streets Of Paris, My Platoon Was A Bunch Of Pussies

issue 4336 | 09.05.07 | Commentary

Like many good men my age, I was in the Big One, and I can tell you firsthand that war is hell. It's day after horrifying day of your worst... more»
Bob Barker Era Ushered Out With Touching Plinko Montage

issue 4325 | 06.19.07 | News In Photos