http://www.theonion.com/content/topics/Smoove_B/feed en-us http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/smoove_is_waiting?utm_source=from_tag Girl, there comes a time when even a strong, well-dressed man must admit defeat.It has been a long time since we broke up and you left... Thu, 03 Apr 2008 01:00:35 -0400 Columnists Smoove_B http://www.theonion.com/content/node/76859 http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/girl_that_man_aint_right_for?utm_source=from_tag Girl, when I thought of you getting married to some other man, I nearly went out of my mind. As you know from the many voicemails I left on your... Wed, 18 Jul 2007 02:00:00 -0400 People Columnists Smoove_B Sex Relationships Race 63964_2e8913f27023ea0cba95bfb780015ab0 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/52110?utm_source=from_tag Girl, while it has been almost two years since we broke apart, not a second goes by that you are not on my mind. As I have written many times in... Wed, 30 Aug 2006 01:00:00 -0400 Columnists Smoove_B 52110_6433030e8a0383c31a09a3d602c85349 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/25537?utm_source=from_tag Smoove B resides in the city of Cincinnati, OH, in a 10th-floor penthouse. He is a regular guest contributor at the Cincinnati Learning Annex, where... Thu, 11 Aug 2005 14:48:07 -0400 Smoove_B 25537_b0f0023bf4c7436a5211f688ef15f931 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/37319?utm_source=from_tag Girl, if there is any doubt in your mind as to what time it is, let me break it down for you: It is time for you to get Smooved. Wed, 12 Jan 2005 16:00:00 -0500 Columnists Smoove_B 37319_f3753fb6027df573f68f95260a36b085 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/37305?utm_source=from_tag If you knew how much pain I am in while I write this column, you would read it all the way to the end and be moved by the heartache in every word. Each sentence contains the pain of my soul, and in particular the part of the soul that yearns for you but has been pushed aside. Wed, 28 Jul 2004 16:00:00 -0400 Columnists Smoove_B 37305_5881ad71dcafd06a650d6d8b899790e2 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/37294?utm_source=from_tag Baby, my world is empty since you shut me out of your life that night. Things were so good between us. Open up your heart to me once again, and I will walk in and make you feel like twice the woman you are without me. All I need is one more chance. If you would give me that chance, I know I could make things right. Wed, 10 Mar 2004 16:00:00 -0500 Columnists Smoove_B 37294_b9088bf203e706c1046e5cf5d60b9fd8 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/26016?utm_source=from_tag Please don't be upset, baby. Wed, 08 Oct 2003 16:00:00 -0400 Columnists Smoove_B 26016_842b32d1e649676ddb04246488e9fd02 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/25868?utm_source=from_tag Have I told you how wonderful you are? When I am with you, I feel like a whole new Smoove. Since you have asked me not to call you at work, I have opted to discuss your fineness through my column. Wed, 11 Jun 2003 16:00:00 -0400 Columnists Smoove_B sex 25868_49753f07738c24148e95c45e8065b61d http://www.theonion.com/content/node/25747?utm_source=from_tag Erase all doubt from your mind, for tonight, you will know love. Let me tell you how I am going to lay it down. Wed, 12 Feb 2003 13:00:00 -0500 Columnists Smoove_B Relationships sex 25747_233f142043ce2914661be3665b9c7f8b