mobile edition

At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

T Herman Zweibel

  • Dungeon Master

    issue 3640 | 11.08.00 | Columnists

    With the feast of the Thanks-giving nigh upon us, I thought it only proper that I graciously liberate a number of individuals currently chained in my... more»

    T. Herman Zweibel

  • The Peace Of The Womb

    issue 3639 | 11.01.00 | Columnists

    As the publisher of the greatest news-paper the Republic has ever seen, I have not had a peace-ful existence. My thousand daily cares are like great... more»

    T. Herman Zweibel

  • Around The World In One Paragraph

    issue 3638 | 10.25.00 | Columnists

    Yesterday in my bed-chamber, Nurse Pin-head opened the glass-doors to my private balcony to release the fetid cloud of odors, miasmas, and sour... more»

    T. Herman Zweibel

  • I Will Decide What Is Appropriate For Children!

    issue 3637 | 10.18.00 | Columnists

    Among the mewling, puking horde of bottle-babies that is The Onion's reader-ship, there have always been those who seek to tell me how to run... more»

    T. Herman Zweibel

  • Ghost-Buster

    issue 3636 | 10.11.00 | Columnists

    I'm sick and tired of ghosts visiting my bed-chamber. At first, I admit, it was terrifying. Then, it became endearing. But now, it is down-right... more»

    T. Herman Zweibel

  • I Live In Fear

    issue 3635 | 10.04.00 | Columnists

    Like many successful and wealthy plutocrats, I am often asked by one or another of you god-damned sheep exactly what it is to which I credit my good... more»

    T. Herman Zweibel

  • Screw Charity!

    issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | Columnists

    I must admit that my relationship with my man-servant Standish has been strained ever since he won a kingly fortune in a sweep-stakes last year. In... more»

    T. Herman Zweibel

  • Baby's First Zweibelmas

    issue 3633 | 09.20.00 | Columnists

    Rare it is that I call upon my ignorant reader-ship to rejoice and be merry, but I am afraid that just such an occasion is almost upon us. Zweibelmas... more»

    T. Herman Zweibel

  • Of Presidents And Precocity

    issue 3632 | 09.13.00 | Columnists

    All this recent cock-roach-being and cherry-orchard-selling has diverted my attentions from both the up-coming presidential election and the progress... more»

    T. Herman Zweibel

  • Check Off One Orchard

    issue 3631 | 09.06.00 | Columnists

    Well, my month-long travail as an enormous cock-roach has ended, and not one God-damned minute too soon! Though I truly enjoyed the benefits of... more»

    T. Herman Zweibel

Meet Other Onion Readers

more personals »