via @TheOnion - 9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says
CONSPIRACY THEORY (STUDIO - INTERVIEW)
By Carol Kolb / Idea by Kai Nagai-Rothe
This draft: 10/23 (DM)
INT. NEWSROOM
ANCHOR
Chances are you've heard of the
controversial new book "The Truth
About Sept. 11". It's author
William Gerard claims to present
irrefutable evidence that the
destruction of the World Trade
Center was not the act of
terrorists, but the work of the
U.S. government. Today we welcome
Mr. Gerard.
SPLIT-SCREEN: With GERARD -- mid 30s, dressed in a suit but
casually. It's clear he isn't used to wearing a suit much.
GERARD
Thank you for having me.
ANCHOR
The book, understandably, has a lot
critics. Joining us now is one of
them, Omar Al-Farouq of the Al
Qaeda organization. Welcome, Omar.
SPLIT-SCREEN: With OMAR. See previous Omar appearances for
how he should be dressed.
LOWER THIRD: Omar Al-Farouq / Al Qaeda Operative
OMAR
Hello, ANCHOR.
ANCHOR
So, Mr. Gerard, your book makes a
lot of contentious statements.
GERARD
(a bit smug)
Well, the fact is, the sort of
collapse we saw on 9/11 at the
World Trade Center never could have
occurred without demolition charges
-- it would defy the laws of
physics.
ANCHOR
But Omar, your organization
disagrees with the theories in this
book?
OMAR
Of course. Did we not all watch
breathlessly as the planes flew
into the buildings? It is obvious
that that is what caused the
collapse.
GERARD
It seems clear because the
government worked very hard to made
it look clear.
Omar rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
OMAR
Oh, come on. You really believe
that?
Omar gets more and more disgusted throughout, shaking his
head and cringing.
ANCHOR
Gerard, where how did you arrive at
the conclusions in the book?
GERARD
It's all hard data. Just one
example: It would take
temperatures of two-thousand-seven
hundred-fifty degrees Fahrenheit to
melt the kind of steel used in the
Twin Towers. But jet fuel only
burns at a maximum of one-thousand
five-hundred degrees.
OMAR
Yes, but the heat didn't need to
melt the steel completely, just
weaken it to the point where it
could no longer support the weight
on top of it, causing the collapse.
Trust me, we did a lot of research
on this. It was one of the first
things we thought of.
ANCHOR
Sounds like a good point, Mr.
Gerard.
GERARD
Fine, if you don't believe that,
then how about this: The collapse
of the World Trade Center shows
signs of being a controlled
demolition.
OMAR
Yes, you could call it controlled,
in a way.
GERARD
The way the towers collapsed
straight downward shows that the
base supports of the buildings were
blown up with explosives. There's
evidence that thermite bombs were
used.
FOOTAGE: A conspiracy video showing the towers collapsing
straight downward
OMAR
Thermite bombs? Come on, sir. It
was not that complicated. Look,
footage clearly shows the buildings
bending inward just above the
points of the crashes just before
collapsing, clearly showing that
the heat from the fires was causing
the frames to buckle.
FOOTAGE: A debunking video showing the buildings bending
inward.
ANCHOR
(sarcastically)
Unless you also believe the
government timed it's so-called
"demolition" to coincide exactly
with that, Mr. Gerard?
GERARD
It's not impossible.
OMAR
That is preposterous. Your
arrogance in believing only your
American government could have
achieved something this grand is,
frankly, insulting.
GERARD
Omar, no steel-framed skyscraper
had ever before completely
collapsed due to fire or other
local damage. You can look at the
records of all major--
Omar shakes his head in disagreement.
OMAR
Yes, but in the history of high
rise fires, not one has ever been a
building which had its vertical
load bearing columns in its core
removed by an airplane. Duh!
ANCHOR
I guess the big question is, Mr.
Gerard, why do you think the
government would stage this attack
to begin with?
GERARD
Geed. They knew it would lead to
increased profits for the weapons
and security and oil industries,
which Bush and Cheney hold stakes
in.
OMAR
I agree with you that your
President Bush is greedy and
deceitful, but think about this for
two seconds: If it was their idea
to secretly carry out the elaborate
plot you have concocted, don't you
think they would have done a better
job with the aftermath? They
completely botched it! Their
approval ratings are in the toilet,
Osama Bin Laden is still safe in
Pakist -- I mean, somewhere.
ANCHOR
It makes no sense, Gerard.
OMAR
The attacks crippled the U.S.
economy, just as we knew they
would. Why would Bush want that?
GERARD
It was part of their plan to build
the case for a war in Iraq.
OMAR
Why do you insist on taking this
great accomplishment from Al Qaeda?
We spent three years planning it.
It was a lot of hard work!
GERARD
So you say. That's exactly what
the government wants people to
believe.
Omar lifts up a piece of paper.
OMAR
Because it's true. Look: These are
the names and phone numbers of
people who worked on this.
He holds up a receipt.
OMAR (CONT'D)
Here is a copy of the receipt from
the flight classes these people
took.
ANCHOR
Give credit where credit is due,
Mr. Gerard. You can't argue with
those kinds of facts.
GERARD
I can't verify those documents.
OMAR
Hey, sir, let me give you a
suggestion: Why don't you visit
the Washington Monument on October
12, 2009, around 3 PM? Take a
guided tour up to the top. I think
you'll see that Al Qaeda is quite a
capable organization.
GERARD
People out there, if you want the
facts, buy the book.
ANCHOR
Okay, thank you both for being
here. The book is "the truth about
September 11." Right after the
break...
END.
---
ALTERNATES:
OMAR
I can't believe anyone out there
actually believes this. (aside)
Americans are not strong enough to
kill so many of their own. Only we
are that strong.
It was one of the first things we
thought of.
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