via @TheOnion - Aunts And Stepdads Line Up For This Year's Hottest Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle
With Christmas almost here,
aunts and step dads across the country
are braving the crowds to get their hands
on the must have gift for 2
The Presto Electric Tea Kettle.
After appearing at the top
of Good Housekeeping's 2
of top 1
the teapot has been nearly impossible to find
due to demand from aunts and step dads,
desperate to get the perfect gift for relatives
they are hopelessly out of touch with.
We can't even keep them on the shelves.
They're selling faster
than last year's purple fleece robe
and the dog coin bank,
that barks when you put coins in it.
Stores nation wide report
they are sold out of the kettle.
In Akron, Ohio, hundreds of aunts
and step dads lined up hours
before this store opened, after word got out
that it had received a new shipment
of electric tea kettles.
Everyone needs a tea kettle
when they're in college,
which I think my nephew is.
I wish I could see Becky's face
when she opens this on Christmas morning,
but I think she's going to be at her real dad's.
Shoppers who were lucky enough
to get the coveted item,
are saying the trouble was well worth it.
I think I did great.
But Becky won't let me in her room
so I hope she doesn't already have one of these.
Stores are trying to pair the electric tea kettle
with other gifts
no one under 5
like this selection of herbal teas,
packed in a tin shaped like a cat.
But the added stress of the holidays
seems to be bringing out
the worst in people as well.
Earlier today, police were called
to a Kansas City mall,
after step dads began fighting
over a store's last remaining Presto Tea Kettle.
Police did not arrest the men,
stating that "As estranged step dads
hopelessly trying to attain the affection
of children who do not and will not ever love them
the men have suffered enough
this holiday season".
That seems like a perfect gift
for my wife's kids.
Coming up next -
What's the true meaning of Christmas?
Our Christmas panel dukes it out
from the Christmas war room.
We'll be right back.
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