For over 2
the honor of serving our nation,
here in the hallowed halls
of the Capital.
Truly, this is the house of the people,
which is why it disgusts me to no end
that someone would leave
a partially eaten fish sandwich
in the middle of
the House floor.
Now let me be blunt.
This sandwich looks
and smells terrible.
It must be thrown
away immediately.
My friends and colleagues
of the 111th Congress,
I am a reasonable man.
I do not address you today to crack
down on the eating of sandwiches.
Some of my most treasured memories
involve eating a sandwich.
And I have personally taken steps
to promote an environment here in Congress
that allows for the eating of
food in the chamber
in a mature and responsible way.
But this permissive food policy
is an arrangement that only works
when we work together.
A chain is only as strong
as its weakest link.
And someone among us has
decided to ruin everything
by leaving that disgusting sandwhich
rotting on the floor.
This unknown fish sandwich eater
does not have the courage
or the moral fortitude
to speak up and say,
"Yes, that is my sandwich."
Now how hard is it
to throw a sandwich away?
I ask you, how much time
would that process take?
My estimate is no more
than six seconds.
Now, would you enter the home
of one of your constituents
and place a rotting fish sandwhich
on their floor
so that they could see
it every time they walk in?
It seems unlikely that you would.
But understand that this is the gesture
that you have made to your colleagues.
Perhaps this is a game for you.
But I don't think it's a very fun game
for the rest of us.
Especially because it's one
that we never asked to play.
Perhaps I just don't know
the rules of this game.
Maybe you could
explain them to me.
Now, do you still want this sandwich?
Please, help yourself. Perhaps you
didn't want to throw it away
because you planned on
finishing it later.
Then dig in.
I beseech you.
But do the American people
a favor next time.
Don't leave a putrid, vile fish sandwich
sitting out on the floor of their house.
I now suggest that somebody
can take care of a certain item
that needs to be thrown away.
Still Ahead: Rep. Steny Hoyer (D-MD)
Berates A Security Guard For 2
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