I rise today in support of the whole
Doctors Accountable Act,
which would crack down on unlicensed
plastic surgeons in America.
These medical charlatans prey
upon hard working Americans.
Millions of regular, everyday folk,
who just need a tweak here or there
to finally look beautiful.
HR7652 provides special funding
for law enforcement agencies
to track down these surgeons
who often go by aliases to avoid detection,
like Dr. Teddy Rolex, who until recently
practiced his brand of medicine
in a rundown strip mall
in Rockwell, Maryland.
We may never know how many
Americans he tricked with his smooth talk,
and his diploma from
the Bermuda College of Excellent Medicine.
We can no longer ignore the epidemic of
botched plastic surgery in this country.
Future generations
are counting on us,
because when the bandages
come off and they're so disfigured
that their own grandchildren
don't recognize them,
and the Capital Hill security guard
whose known them for 2
asks for their I.D., that's when they'll
realize their lives will never be the same.
Who else can these people turn to
when they go to their doctor's office
to confront him
and find it abandoned,
and realize they have no recourse
and collapse on the floor to cry,
pretend, because that clumsy butcher
Dr. Rolex, cauterized their tear ducts.
That's why passing HR7652
is so vital to our national health,
and self esteem.
I yield the remainder of my time,
as it is very hot under these lights,
and my sweat glands no longer work.
Still Ahead: Genetically-Modified Corn
Testifies Before Congress On Dangers
of Eating Genetically-Modified Food
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