I'm Julianna McKannis
sitting in for Clifford Baines
who was never that great
of a host anyway.
Scientists at a remote laboratory
in Phoenix announced this week
they have bioengineered a race
of 75 foot tall, extremely strong crabs
to assist with large construction projects.
An op-ed in the New York Times
says quote we have absolutely
no reason to be worried
about these giant crabs at all.
And they do seem as if
they'll be very helpful, don't they?
- Absolutely, yes.
I don't see why we should
be concerned. The scientists
who created these huge super-crabs
have promised there is no way
for them to get out of their constraints
and turn on their human masters.
Yeah I trust the scientists,
they know what they're doing.
You know these crabs are going to be
great for America's construction projects
because I've read that these crabs
are so strong that they can lift and throw
objects as large as cars
and passenger trains.
Absolutely and you know the acid
that the crabs shoot from their mouths
up to 3
so helpful in melting down loose debris
on construction sites.
- The Wall Stree Journal
thinks that they are going to be
a huge boost to the economy.
Oh absolutely. - I can see the
headlines now: giant crabs
descend upon Detroit
rebuild failing infrastructure
and revitalize downtown.
- Oh that would be so grand.
As I'm sure you've read
the crab's inventor
Doctor Lester Mordock
told Time Magazine
my army of super craps will change
the world forever. All shall know
the name of Dr. Lester Mordock.
- And you know it is so inspiring
the way he found success
after that horrible military accident.
- Oh I know. - That was awful!
You know that left him eating
with a claw for a hand. It would have
made anybody else bitter and vengeful
but not him. He went on to give us
giant marvelous crabs.
But some people aren't so sure.
There's a letter to the editor
in the Washinton Post today
from a mild-mannered mathematician
with an attractive female assistant
saying that we should be very careful
not to allow our hubris to make us think
that we can ever totally control nature.
Come on. That's ridiculous, I personally
I've have had enough of all these any-sayers.
- They just love stopping progress.
- And the research has shown
that these crabs are unusually intelligent.
- Oh yeah. - Did you hear about
the baby crab that solved
the Rubik's Cube that a security guard
had left on the table?
That's a smart crab!
- That's phenomenal!
- Leslie you're going to see
the first public unveiling of the
largest of the crabs tomorrow,
the queen crab in New York City,
isn't that right?
- Oh Leslie!
- We'll be crowded into the thousands
down there in Times Square.
- You are the luckiest person.
- Well thank you, we're all going
to be cheering, there's going to be
a lot of flash photography.
It's going to be wonderful.
I'm sure the craps are going
to love all that attention.
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