Onion News Network

The Onion

GAP "4 KIDS BY KIDS" Script/Idea: Sam West This draft: CLK (1-14), DM 1-15, SD-1-18 INT. ONION NEWS SET ANCHOR Gap Kids, the popular children's clothing store, rolled out a new line of apparel this week that's sure to be the must-have fashion trend... for the under-10 set. REPORTER has the story. CUT TO: EXT. CITY STREET Shot of big ad on a building wall. A large 4 Kids By Kids logo using kids' paint handprints in various colors. REPORTER It's a simple idea... CUT TO: INT. GAP STORE B-ROLL: People shopping at Gap Kids. A cute young child talks into microphone: CHILD The clothes are great cuz they get made by kids like me. REPORTER (V.O.) A line of clothing sewn by children, some as young as six years old, halfway around the world. GRAPHIC: World map with little graphics of shirts moving from countries in Southeast Asia to the United States. REPORTER (V.O.) (CONT'D) Gap calls the innovation "4 Kids By Kids." B-ROLL: A MOM holds up a cute shirt with flowers in front of her daughter. B-ROLL: Kids try on the clothes, smiling. CUT TO: INT. GAP OFFICE GAP PR PERSON Kids love Gap clothes, whether they're wearing them or making them. REPORTER (V.O.) George Klenderson, head of PR for the GAP, says the new clothing line brings children together. GAP PR PERSON It's American kids joining hands with their Sri Lankan and Singaporean counterparts, saying "We're all GAP Kids." CUT TO: INT. GAP STORE GAP PR PERSON (V.O.) (CONT'D) It's like getting to have a pen pal from across the world, even though he doesn't know how to read and write. REPORTER (V.O.) Kids love the garments... B-ROLL: A BRATTY KID yells "yay" and grabs a big stack of sweaters. Interview clip with a happy kid. HAPPY KID I'm going to buy it with my own allowance. REPORTER (V.O.) ... while parents like the positive message. PARENT 2 Kids today spend so much time sitting around playing video games. These clothes show what they can accomplish with a little hard work. **ALTERNATE: REPORTER (V.O.) It's not just the novelty of the clothing's production that's drawing customers. Parents say the line is very affordable... CUT TO: INT. GAP STORE B-ROLL: A customer at a cash register -- the total is "24.22" for a stack of clothes. REPORTER (V.O.) ... and well made. A mom holds up a shirt with a picture of a bumblebee and a smiling flower stitched into it. MOM The stitching is so intricate. It's incredible. Close up on the stitching. The words "Help Me" are stitched in beside the flower. **ALTERNATE: A MOM pulls at a pair of pants to demonstrate it's well made. MOM (CONT'D) Look at that. I'll bet Jeremy will be tired of these before they even wear out. **ALTERNATE: MOM (CONT'D) (Awestruck and joyous) Every time I look at them now I think to myself, "A child just like mine made that with his bare hands, half a world away!" CUT TO: INT. OFFICE GAP PR PERSON We're delighted to give these child craftspeople a chance to do what they were born to do. Little hands can do great things. *ALTERNATE: GAP PR PERSON (CONT'D) The kids who make these clothes love what they're doing. They'll work from sun up to sun down without even stopping to eat. FOOTAGE: Shot from behind a chain-link fence, a large grey, industrial building in Malaysia. REPORTER (V.O.) The Onion News Network tried to get some footage of the Malaysian GAP factory where the kids work, but this is as far as they got. According to plant management they have a strict "No Adults Allowed" policy. CUT TO: EXT. STREET The reporter is in front of the 4 Kids By Kids Logo. REPORTER For the Onion News Network, I'm REPORTER. INT. ONION NEWS SET SPLIT-SCREEN with the anchor in-studio and the reporter on the street. The anchor examines a patch on a small kid's shirt. ANCHOR The quality is simply amazing. It's very intricate work. REPORTER It must be those teeny tiny little fingers. ANCHOR Next up...