HIGH SCHOOL TONY AWARDS (SMALL LOCATION)
Script: Kula / Idea: Maria Schneider
This draft: 11/6/07 (DM)
NOTE: All footage here should be from actual high school
productions.
FOR ALTERNATES: Jokes that make use of the entire high school
culture, not just drama stuff. More references to the red
carpet and the whole night of glamour. More alternates for
Drama Teacher. Categories which aren't so silly and are more
sad and cuttingly mean about high school musicals.
INT. NEWSROOM
ANCHOR
In entertainment news, millions of
fans across the nation tuned in
last night to see the High School
Tony Awards, celebrating the year's
most outstanding achievements in
high school theater.
FOOTAGE: A prom night - high school kids dressed nicely,
preferably getting out of limos.
NOTE: This footage could be anything that believably plays as
kids headed to this fancy awards ceremony. Ideally the kids
should look kind of awkward and nerdy, but their outfits and
the general scene should look glamorous and Tony Awards-like.
ANCHOR (V.O.) (CONT'D)
The biggest stars of the secondary
school stage arrived in white
limousines and borrowed minivans,
displaying their dazzling sateen
gowns and rented tuxedos for the
cameras before making their way
down the red carpet.
GRAPHICS: High School Tonys winners list, with the
comedy/tragedy masks in the corners - the winner's photo
comes up as their name's read.
ANCHOR (V.O.) (CONT'D)
The night's highest honor was
bestowed upon actress Katherine
Dippold who won the coveted "Best
Blonde Maria" for her pitch-perfect
turn in West Side Story."
INT. AWARDS PRESS CONFERENCE
Katherine (13-14) is that pretty talented young girl who gets
the lead even though she is a freshman.
KATHERINE DIPPOLD
It was such an honor to get to work
with so many Seniors-- especially
those who played
(mispronouncing:)
Bernardo and Consuelo.
INT. NEWSROOM
ANCHOR
It was a big night for newcomer Ms.
Dippold, who also received the
award for "Most Awkward Kiss."
FOOTAGE: Some girl as Benny Southstreet doing the title
number from Guys and Dolls.
ANCHOR (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Angela Harris received a standing
ovation after her moving portrayal
of Benny Southstreet won her "Best
Girl as a Guy in Guys & Dolls."
PHOTO: Extremely serious looking nerdy 16 year old.
ANCHOR (V.O.)(CONT'D)
And the critically-beloved Wade
Larson, who won "Most Self-Serious
Actor" for his performance as
TKTKTK in Ridgewood High School's
"TKTKTK." [NOTE: Will write to
footage.]
FOOTAGE: Some kid doing a serious monologue.
ANCHOR (V.O.) (CONT'D)
In his speech, Larson personally
thanked the head theatre critic for
the Ridgewood Weekly Ranger, Carol
Morrison. Morrison's review, which
appeared in the 'Hornet Happenings'
section of the paper, praised
Larson's performance as "totally
amazing."
GRAPHICS: A high school newspaper. Pull out the quote "Wade
was totally amazing."
ANCHOR (CONT'D)
Eric Faas surprised few by winning
the award for "Least Consistent
Cockney Accent."
INT. AWARDS PRESS CONFERENCE
MALE HIGH SCHOOLER
(cockneye accent)
Thank you very much for this here
award, my lads and lasses.
INT. NEWSROOM
ANCHOR
Insiders say his revolutionary a
performance as Tiny Tim in a Winter
Quarter production of "A Christmas
Carol" was a shoe in for the prize.
The role also earned him a
nomination for "Best Pronounced
Limp." The statuette for Best
Performance in a Pre-Show Prayer
Circle was awarded to Meredith Moe,
who was surprised to also find
herself a winner for Most Sexual
Tension Produced in a Pre-Show
Massage Circle.
PHOTO: A pristine Churchy teen girl
ANCHOR (CONT'D)
"Best Casting of the School's Star
Football Player" was awarded to
Kane Tremont.
FOOTAGE: A handsome bad actor in a school play.
ANCHOR (CONT'D)
Those who seek glory not in the
spotlight, but in the wings were
also rewarded. Naperville High
School's Alan Corey was lauded as
"Coolest Drama Instructor."
Presenters thanked him for his many
rides home and allowing the drama
club to hold the wrap party in the
basement of his house.
ALTERNATE:
ANCHOR (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Those who seek glory not in the
spotlight, but in the wings also
had their moment in the spolight.
Naperville High School's Alan Corey
triumphed for "Best Original
Musical Written by a Drama
Instructor" for his book and lyrics
for "The Raps and Rhymes of the
Ancient Mariner."
CHYRON: Alan Corey - Winner/Drama Club Advisor
PHOTO: Corey, a nerdy 45 year old.
ANCHOR (CONT'D)
Meanwhile at the Technical High
School Tony Awards, the prestigious
"Best Lighting of a Gym" award was
won by West Allis, Wisconsin's
Nathan Hale High School technical
crew for their production of "A
Turn For The Nurse."
PHOTO: Smug looking tech crew dressed in black.
ANCHOR (CONT'D)
This is only the fifth year for the
technical ceremony, which was held
in the parking lot in back of the
theater so that attendees could
smoke.
Up next: three American Marines
reported missing in life-size
chessboard operation.
----
Additional AWARDS CRAWL to run in the NEWS CRAWL space
Gayest Actor in Straight Role
Best Dedication of Show to a Dead Sibling
Best Performance in a Pre-Show Prayer Circle
Best Choreography Involving Obese Performer
Best Inconsistent Cockney Accent
Best Program Acknowledgments In-Joke
Best State-Mandated Casting of Disabled Student
Four Year Lifetime Achievement Award
Best Teen Willie Loman
Best Swastika Alternative, The Sound of Music
Best ugly kid in an old-man role
Achievement in race substitution
Most insular clique in a large cast
Achievement in crosscasting
Most surprising show-stealing performance by a very short
actor
Achievement in box-stepping
Achievement in spotlight operation
Achievement in not turning your back to the audience
Fattest danny zuko
Most subtle request for a forgotten line
Most surprisingly flamboyant performance by a wallflower
Best cameo appearance by a fat assistant director
Biggest singing/acting differential
Most mismatched leading couple
Best impression of the director
Best use of pop culture reference in a production of "Oliver"
Best use of eyeliner on a male
Best enunciation in a dramatic scene
Best performance by a jock
Best black Tevya in "Fiddler on the Roof"
Best excising of gay material/subtext in a Tennessee Williams
play
Loudest actor
Best old man back ache
Best non-Jewish Teviah
Best faux-brick in set design
Best approximation of what drunkenness might look like
Best daughter of director in a leading role
Best "Fiddler on the Roof" shtel set made from previous
year's "Oklahoma" saloon
Best sexing-up of a gypsy costume by a popular girl
Makeup achievement in dirt-smudge placement
Best fake New York accent in Guys & Dolls
Best portrayal of an old lady walking
Best solo by someone who has no business singing in the first
place
Best pain dance by a leading actress and an actor terrified
of physical contact
Best (obnoxiously) affected personality quirk by a drama kid
Best principal-mandated rewrite of questionable material
Best milking of a death scene by a minor character
Best hand drawn program cover
Best jock in a supporting role
Best costuming of an obese can-can girl
Best "save" of a falling wig
Stealthiest set crew member
----
Most Sexual Tension Produced in a Pre-Show Massage Circle.
While Tri-Unity Christian High received the "Best Censored
Production of Chicago,
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