Onion News Network

The Onion

In entertainment news today, another celebrity baby photo-op with a big price tag. Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt has reportedly paid Us Weekly magazine $2.2 million of her own money to have the tabloid publish the first ever photos of her new baby Jason. For the inside scoop let's go to Onion News Network Entertainment reporter Keri Lee who's in Hollywood. - Hi Michael. $2.2 million, Keri. That's a lot of money. Well, you know what Michael, Us Weekly really did not want these photos. I guess not. Apparently there was quite a scramble among the tabloids to not print them? - That's exactly right, Michael. OK! Magazine, In Touch, Star, insiders say they really didn't want to waste valuable page space on such an uninteresting celebrity, much less the baby I guess she had. Yeah, but when she's willing to pay such a huge amount to have them published, what do they do? - Top sources at Us Weekly say in addition to this money Hewitt also agreed to take all the pictures herself. So their photographers wouldn't have to waste time on such a pointless assignment. - Right. Hewitt also wrote the accompanying article herself and provided the ink used to print it. But what does Us Weekly get out of this? - Well they did a cost analysis that showed the amount Hewitt is paying them is higher that the amount they'll lose in newsstand sales when thousands of readers refuse to buy the issue after seeing her and her baby on the cover. Okay, so it's profitable. But this Hollywood trend of B and C-list celebrities going to any lengths to have the public pay attention to them, it seems to me it's just getting out of control. It really is an issue, just last month Kim Kardash almost ran a car full of paparazzi off the road, while chasing them in hopes that they would take photos of her. And we also heard about National Enquirer reporter - Right. who had to take out a restraining order against Tory Spelling to get her to stop hanging out around his house. Yes. And of course there was that paparazzi who punched Tara Reed in the face after she got too aggressive in harassing him to take photos of her. Yeah, we got to draw a line here. Okay, Keri Lee in Hollywood, thank you so much. - Thanks Michael. Coming up, the International Council of Landmines has warned all Africans to stop moving. STILL AHEAD THIS HOUR: U.S. DEPT. OF CHRONOLOGY ADMITS TO FUTURE MIX-UP LAST WEEK